Big Brother 08

Well the Big Brother house continues to remain as relatively uninteresting as it has been over the past few days. After Kyle's frat house comments the girls seemed determine to get into their bikinis as often as they can, which isn't necessarily a bad thing because at least some of them are quite sexy. Meanwhile, Nobbi, after being unfairly picked on by the old bag Terri (who I see is returning to the house on Sunday...how fucking exciting...), is now proving that he is actually a complete tosser, bitching about everyone and claiming Travis is playing the game. TRAVIS IS PLAYING THE GAME???? IT'S DAY THREE FOR FUCK'S SAKE!!! Get some perspective...

I've always maintained that I like watching Big Brother because it gives me someone to hate. And even though we are four days into the process, I can happily say that already there are a few people that I can single out to hate. Terri was one of them, and lucky for me she's coming back so I can vent some more ire on that stupid, racist, irritating woman. Nobbi can be added to the list for being a tosser, and add to that Dixie. I didn't think I was going to like her from the promos, but to my surprise I do hate her but for a completely different reason.

What a whinger! She's moaned and cried about missing her mother - oh, sorry, did you think that, on entering the BB house you'd get to chat to her everyday? What the hell did you expect? - and this from a woman who supposedly travels all around the country. How does she cope? But, no, to add to that, after a discussion where people talked about who they were attracted to, she got upset because Rory wasn't attracted to her! I am astonished by the conceit!!!

So, some rules for people who intend to enter the Big Brother house:
1) If you've got some aspect of your personality that people pay you out for in the real world, it's gonna happen in the Big Brother house. More so.

2) You are not the center of the universe. It's not all about you. Deal with it.

3) If you do something stupid, people will think you are stupid.

4) Not everyone is going to like you. In fact if you get into the house you can almost guarantee that there is going to be someone in there who will hate you with more passion that Pavarotti singing Nessun Dorma.

5) If you talk to mummy every day, you're not going to cope too well in the BB house.

Read them, peoples. Learn them. And you can be reassured that if you follow them I won't be inclined to punch you in the face should we ever meet.

That is all.