Doctor Who: The Stolen Earth (Series IV)

Around England, thousands of Doctor Who fans fangasmed after this episode.

With six names zooming out of the credits towards us (including a "with" and an "and") for a moment I thought I was watching the American telemovie - though that in itself is not a bad thing. What was a little more surprising was having some cast members credited on screen after the credits have finished, Poirot style. All quite different from the days when no one got a credit for twenty-two minutes (except the writer, obviously). But this episode just made Russell T Davies out to be the biggest liar ever - Rose will not return after series two...except now; Torchwood and Doctor Who will never cross over...except now. But you can't help but love Davies really. Moffat may be the guy who can scare the living crap out of you, but Davies is the guy who sits down and thinks "I need to write something epic...".

And boy is The Stolen Earth epic. What's slightly surprising, though, is the enormous amount of continuity in the story. OK, so we see the return of Martha, Rose, Jack and Sarah, the appearance of Ianto, Gwen, Luke and Mr Smith, appearances by Francine, Harriet Jones, Wilf and Sylvia, the return of Davros, the Daleks and the Judoon; but after countless mentions of the Medusa Cascade, the Cruciform, the Shadow Proclamation we finally get to see all those things as well (OK, not so much the Cruciform, but it was mentioned). And, add to that, there is also an allusion to a classic series story...

So, let's just briefly discuss the actual story. Obviously the Earth has been stolen, along with a number of other planets that have been mentioned in previous episodes this season, and to the surprise of...well, no one who had any common sense really, the culprits are the Daleks. The Doctor goes to the Shadow Proclamation to find this out while Harriet Jones unites the Doctor's past companions and they bring the Doctor to Earth. Where he gets exterminated...
What impresses me most about the new series is the fact that people are genuinely, shit-your-pants scared of the Daleks. When the Daleks invade Earth, Sarah and Martha and Jack are terrified. When we see the fear on their faces, it really helps sell the fact that these are the most dangerous creatures running around the universe.

But it was curious to see a lot of humour in this episode, not only with things like Ianto laughing at a television programme despite the appropriateness of such an act; but also with things such as Sarah complaining about the fanfare everytime Mr Smith comes out of the wall (and how cool was it that it was filmed in exactly the same way?). On top of that we got to see Sarah flip from hating to Torchwood to being quite pleased at Jack's flirting with him, as well as the Doctor shushing Donna when she sees Jack for the same reason. Plus the return of the "Harriet Jones, Former Prime Minster" "I know" joke, even down to the Daleks knowing who Harriet Jones is, but...

Once again, though, it's acting kudos to everyone in the cast. Easily stealing the show is Penelope Wilton reprising Harriet Jones, and bringing such power and elegance to the character. I still have a problem with the Doctor's decision to end her government (and certainly given the fact it effectively allowed the Master to take over that would seem a little justified), but it was great that Harriet stood by her decision to do what she did. Harriet is the best companion we never had - a woman who knows what she should do and is prepared to take the decision to do so, but better, one who is capable enough to create technology that will get her in contact with all the Doctor's previous companions (from the new series anyway).

Coming in very close behind this fantastic performance is Julian Bleach recreating Davros and sounding eerily like the original version as seen in Genesis of the Daleks (a fantastic bit of continuity as well when Sarah Jane recognises who Davros is). Bleach's performance is restrained and controlled, bringing back the deadly, truly evil side of Davros. Davies also adds the rather disturbing moment where we find out that Davros has been using himself to recreate the Daleks...particularly gruesome and nasty.

Everyone else is on fine form, but thank god the bizarre speech impediment that Billie Piper had last week has disappeared. Once again we see the Rose we used to know and love, and yes, a tear came to my eye when she and the Doctor saw each other for the first time - but then I also had a a moment when Harriet was exterminated.

My one concern though is - am I so blinded by the fangasmic moments that I have overlooked a crappy episode? I'm not going to make the call based on one episode, but I hope that Davies big concepts have a big payoff.

So where to from now? Who knows. Is the regeneration for real? I find it difficult to believe. Bring on the next episode though.

"A"

Doctor Who: Snowglobe 7 (BBC Books)

It's wonderful when you finally get a chance to read, isn't it?

Mike Tucker is what you'd describe as a "serviceable" writer. He's the kind of guy that will write a decent Doctor Who novel without actually stretching anybody too far, or making people think too much. Snowglobe 7 (or should it be SnowGlobe 7?) sees the Doctor apparently arriving in Dubai in the middle of a snowstorm, only to discover that he is actually inside a preservation that is trying to keep some form of winter alive. Money, being the issue of course, means that the SnowGlobe exercise has to find some funding from somewhere and so most of the SnowGlobes now have some form of winter sport getaway involved for the tourists. SnowGlobe 7 is going down that part, but this being Doctor Who, there is, of course, a monster lurking at the heart of the SnowGlobe which is pretty much unstoppable until the last five pages. Clearly a lot of work went into that resolution.

In all seriousness there's nothing really wrong with the book, but it highlights Tucker's "serviceability". The story is a straightforward, defeat the monster type tale, with smatterings of various Doctor Who stories from the past (try counting them, it's quite a fun exercise), primarily a big nod to "The Ark In Space".

Not the best of the trilogy of books it was released with, but certainly not the worst thing that New Series Adventures has come out with.

"B"

Best Man's Speech - A dedication to my good friends David & Amanda Rayfield

I had known David for some time before high school came around and the two of us went in separate directions, me to the Rockhampton Grammar School, him to the Christian Boys College. Although the two of us had had quite similar personalities before this, school changed us a little - I became nerdier, more naive and a goody two shoes, while David was drinking, smoking and having fun. Despite this we were still actually quite close and one day I was invited to one of his parties. I arrived and soon met a group of "City Bum Cleaners" as everyone outside CBC called CBC - it was Rockhampton, we were struggling for entertainment - all of whom had little time for the geek in the corner. I tried to inveigle myself into their clique, but was studiously ignored by pretty much everyone, until I came across someone sitting in a cloud of smoke. We had a non-conversation in which he, both drunk and generally disinterested in who he was talking to, grunted non committedly to my attempts at conversation.

David rescued me soon enough and asked me how I was enjoying the party. "Terrible," I replied. "Oh, I thought I saw you chatting over there with..." "Oh, God," I interrupted. "Not him. He's a complete idiot." "Right," David replied. "Shame, cause that's a good friend of mine. His name's Rayfield."

Now at this point you're probably wondering why I'm the best man...

David Harreveld continued to invite me to his parties which generally had a guest list that was rotating, but the two constants on those lists were myself and David Rayfield, who soon became simply "Rayfield" to avoid confusion, and also because everyone else called him that. In actuality I spent two years thinking his name was actually Ray Field, before I discovered that the truth. I then spent several months thanking my lucky stars I never called him Ray.
As the parties continued Rayfield and I began to talk to each other more and more, moving from simply nodding to each other as we entered the room, through to a "Hey, how ya doin'?" before getting onto some serious topics that we discovered we shared common ground on. Favourite actor? Tie between Al Pacino and Robert DeNiro, although nowadays the two of them pretty much play themselves. Godfather - best movie ever made. Rocky And Bullwinkle - DeNiro's lowest ebb. The most moving moment in our lives was when Robert DeNiro grabbed Al Pacino's hand at the end of Heat and said "I told you I ain't goin' back." Rayfield had been dating a girl at the time who he later confided in me that he didn't think it was going to last because as soon as DeNiro spoke the line she turned to him and said "Can we go?". No respect.

We were young...

I found out more and more about this guy. We did have overlapping tastes in music - Moby in particular. Music and movies being the cornerstone of Rayfield's and my own worlds meant that we developed a friendship and I realised that not only can first impressions be wrong, but they also can be quickly dismissed. David is now more to be than just a friend - I consider him a brother. The loyalty he has shown to me has gone beyond what mere friends give each other. Though we've both been through rough times, I know that when I hit a low ebb I can always count on David's support, and that makes him not only a good friend, but also a great guy.

ALTHOUGH...when mentioning how great a guy he is, one would probably not recount the story of what passed for entertainment in his life. A story involving a guy standing on a stone wall, grabbing onto monkey bars and resting his chin on the bar. A story in which David came up and, thinking it would be funny, grabbed the lad by the feet and yanked them out from under him resulting in a lot of blood and dental work. Showing great strength of character, David fled the scene of the crime.

David's passions meant that he would have to find just the right girl who would not only tolerate but also appreciate his loves in life. For reasons of tact I will not recount the story of how David and one of his girlfriends had to break up due to a lack of common passion in The Simpsons. But generally, David remains tight-lipped about his girlfriends and so it came to pass that the one day when he called me to talk about random rubbish, he mentioned in passing that "Amanda" was coming around. "Who?" I asked. "My girlfriend," he said.

Now, David is always careful to ensure that there is no friction in his life, and I believe that he was a bit worried about how Amanda and his friends would get along, so it was some considerable time before I even saw Amanda, let alone met her. One day he rang me to tell me that the two of them were moving in together and he was having a garage sale. I went along to take his playstation games off his hands and as I walked out the driveway a striking dark-haired woman walked down and smiled at me, and then waved when David joined me. "That's Amanda," he said. "I'll have to introduce you some time."

Months passed along with a couple of telephone conversations that got less awkward each time. Finally I got to meet Amanda, and he needn't have worried because, let's face it, how could anyone not like Amanda? She sat there and listened to me as I rambled on about rubbish, actually pretending to be interested and speaking every so often (My wife later assured her that all she had to do was nod and agree with me and she'd be fine). She allowed David to have his Batman figures scattered around the house and even had the good taste to like Doctor Who. Is it good taste to marry David? Far be it for me to judge. I knew we'd become friends as on later meetings when I talked, she nodded and agreed.

Sadly, neither of David's parents are with us anymore to celebrate this happy occasion, but I am sure that neither of them could be happier to know that their son has found such a perfect match in Amanda.

Congratulations guys.

Big Brother 08

I remember when I started watching Big Brother, after vowing and declaring that I never would, the final two were Bree and Trevor and I thought, frankly I don't care who wins because they are both pretty nice people and I have no problems with either of them getting the money. The following year it was Tim and Logan Greg and I had the same feelings. In fact, I've always been relatively happy with who ends up in the final two (or even three) because Australia gets rid of the losers and we are left with the nicest people in the house who actually deserve to win the money. Last year, though blatantly manipulated, Travis, Zack and Aleisha were the final three, and I was happy. I didn't care which of those three won because they were all great.

You may have noticed that I don't post many reviews of Big Brother anymore. Basically that's because I hate everyone in the house. Yes, I can't say I like any of them. The youngsters hate the oldies, and frankly I hate them too. Terri is a whinger who does to the young ones everything she claims they do to her. Terrance just goes on and on and needs to sit down and shut up.

The youngsters are just as bad. Brigitte...I tried to defend her, really, but she is just a brat who needs a good slap. She is shallow and thoughtless and her behaviour towards Terrance and Terri is inexcusable. She burped in Terrance's face. Who does that??? But, of course, because he's just as stupid, Terrance acted like a brat when he fought with her. The two are ridiculous. She saturated the kombi van in which Terrance and Terri sleep. She is the most self-absorbed thoughtless bitch I've had the misfortune to see.

Ben, Alice and Cherry are all wet whiners who stab everyone in the back in order to make themselves look good. Bianca is just a child who thinks she is so much cleverer than she actually is. Rory is a fuckhead - what he has been doing to Terri (fondling his penis to make it erect when he is naked in front of her) is not only peurile, it's sexual harrassment and Big Brother should have the guts to remove him from the house for it. I defended Big Brother over the turkey slapping incident because they did the right thing, but this year they just let it happen with a slap on the wrist. COME ON!! They admitted they do it deliberately. Thank God Nobbi has left the house because he was just as disgusting. Travis needs to stand up and take notice. I mean, what is with this lot?

I don't care who wins this competition because I hate them all. I hope that none of them win anything.

"E"

I have included a picture of past competitors because they shit all over this lot and were hotter.

Law & Order: Special Victims Unit - Cold (Season 9)

And so we come to the season finale of SVU, although thanks to Ten they still have two new episodes to show because it is apparently too difficult to actually show the episodes in order. Yeah, well done on that one Ten.

Now just in case you didn't know - and let's face it there's no real reason why you should - neither Adam Beach (Det Chester Lake) nor Diane Neal (ADA Casey Novak) are returning next season, so this episode was going to be the one that saw both of these guys written out (thankfully it doesn't happen between seasons as is sometimes the case with Law & Order characters who just don't turn up the following season for no reason whatsoever). I have to admit that Det Lake leaving the series doesn't particularly bother me an awful lot; although it's given the opportunity for Fin to actually do something other than sit behind his desk and spit details out to Benson and Stabler, it's meant that Munch has done bugger all this season.

Diane Neal, on the other hand, I'm quite upset to have lost. She is the longest running ADA in any of the Law & Order series (and indeed the only person in the DA's office who has been there longer is Sam Waterston's Jack McCoy) and maybe it's just that I have a bit of a weakness for redheads, but she's damn hot. And has the sexiest voice. It's great.
But from a character point of view, I always preferred Novak to Alex Cabot, her predecessor, as she was more by the book, but was quite keen to help out the SVU team in any way possible. It's somewhat sad, then, that her downfall comes about because she chooses not to follow the rules in court. The episode has a particularly depressing ending, not just with Novak being informed she's pretty much got no more career (and a return from the amazingly fantastic Judith Light as Judge Donnelly), but also with Tutuola pretty much giving Stabler the middle finger as well as Lake being arrested for a second murder, which it's pretty cleary he actually did commit. This has to to be the most depressing ending to a SVU season since season one.

That said, Lake's behaviour during the first half of the episode is completely bizarre. He escapes from hospital to track down the witness to the crime he has been obsessing about for the past ten years, and she agrees to testify and identify the cop who raped her. OK, fair enough, but...why not just do that? Why not tell Stabler or Tutuola about the witness and get them to bring her in? Stabler complains that Lake doesn't trust them, but Benson immediately leaps to his defence...except he's absolutely right. If Lake had just bothered to trust his partner in the very least, there would be no problems at all. In fact, Lake's reluctance to say anything just creates more and more problems for him,
all of which could be solved by simply trusting. It's bizarre behaviour from someone who has been so level-headed all season.

A great ending, and some wonderful character moments, but overall I can't help but feel disappointed by the episode as a whole.

"B-"

KFC Deception Bay

I love KFC. Oh, the chips...best chips from any takeaway joint in the world. And I'm talking Australia here, because KFC in England is the absolute pits. Over here, however it is the best. It is my takeaway of choice. Sucks to be me then to live in Deception Bay, because without doubt the Deception Bay KFC is the worst, most poorly run KFC I have ever had the misfortune to patronise. And I have had the misfortune plenty, I tell you.

I have no idea what is going on there, but I think it basically boils down to the fact that there appears to be a staff of about seven every night, of which only one actually does anything. That one is always working like no one's business while the others just sit around and talk. On average I would have to wait about ten to fifteen minutes in the drive thru line up whenever I go there. Once I get through the line, I would have to wait another ten minutes while my order is put together, and that's assuming they are able to let me use EFTPOS when I am driving through. Meanwhile I can see the rest of the staff discussing their weekend plans and generally having a bit of a laugh.

Just to give one example - one day the line up was huge (as ususal) so I took the somewhat unique decision to order from the front counter - yes, I actually got out of my car. To my surprise it actually took just as long to get my order as it would have if I had gone through the drive thru. However, during the time I was waiting a number of other customers came along to order and, as the one girl was preparing my meal, no one served these customers.

One chap, a largish fellow, got a little disgruntled at having to wait to simply have his order taken, let alone have it prepared, bellowed after ten minutes "MORE WORK LESS CHATTER". The girls in the preparation area had the decency to turn to look at him before resuming their conversation. Five minutes after that he bellowed "IS THERE SOME DICKHEAD MANAGER I SHOULD TALK TO?" No one showed their face, but by this time my meal had finally turned up so I left before, presumably, the large chap jumped the counter and ripped the place apart Hulk-style.

KFC Deception Bay - you suck. You really do. It amazes me how badly you actually do suck. Get your act together for God's sake. You are supposed to be in the service industry.

"D"

The Happening

My sister and I have diagnosed what we describe as "First Single Hit" syndrome. It's when a singer - notably Natalie Imbruglia - releases their first single and it is absolutely incredible to the point where everything s/he does after that comes up just a little short. "Torn" was so good that everything Natalie releases is always "well, it's good, but it's not Torn, is it?" M Night Shyamalan suffers from the same thing. The Sixth Sense was a kick-arse film; so good with an absolutely brilliant twist and fuck off to anyone who
claims they saw the twist coming. The thing about that movie is that the audience works out the twist a microsecond before Bruce Willis' character does, and that is the best way to do a twist (or indeed a really, really good joke). The audience doesn't feel cheated, they feel a little intelligent, but because they didn't work it out just until the moment the character does, there's no anti-climax. An "A+" film.

But ever since then, "well...it's good, but it's no The Sixth Sense, is it?"

Unbreakable...great film, not critically acclaimed. Signs...great film, not critically acclaimed and didn't have a twist which left the audience a little disappointed because by now they had conditioned themselves to expect a twist. The Village...great film, not critically acclaimed (although for some reason the twist didn't surprise me at all because I was under the impression it was set in present day - have no idea why I thought that). And then there's The Lady In The Lake which is just a little off beat.

One of the great things about Shyamalan's direction is that the actors always conform to what Shyamalan wants. Usually an actor bends the style of the film to fit him/her, but that never happens in a Shyamalan film. And want he wants from his actors is a kind of styalised, distant form of acting. It's perhaps most noticable in Signs with Mel Gibson, and although he is the chief example of this, Mark Wahlberg is, I think, the next most obvious example of it. Unfortunately, it doesn't always suit Wahlberg as it seems, more often than not, that rather than being distant he has simply forgotten his lines and Shyamalan hasn't called for a retake. This isn't helped by Zooey Deschanel (and I love this actress to bits, she is criminally underrated) who seems to be playing her character in the same styalised style but is coming across more as a "deer caught in the headlights" startled lady. Usually this kind of performance suits what Shyamalan is trying to do, but in this film it just seems a little too over the top. Conversely, John Leguizamo
actually fits the bill perfectly and his performance is perfectly judged, bringing a real pathos to his character and the ultimate end for this poor maths teacher is quite heart wrenching.

The movie itself centers around a single fundamental idea - there are some things that are acts of nature that we will never fully understand. This is a great concept actually, but it's bound to split an audience (particularly an American audience) the majority of whom usually want everything cleared up and explained completely. What we have is a movie where a number of disturbing suicides take place, a number which then grows larger and larger before suddenly stopping. We are given a lot of theories; the idea that the plants are behind it being the one that is the most popular; but ultimately we are not told at all precisely what caused the suicides, why it suddenly stopped and how often it is likely to happen - a scene at the end showing us it is certainly going to happen at least one more time.

This movie is far more in the style of Signs, rather than any of the others in that a group of people are at the periphery of a series of events they have no control over, but through some fluke manage to survive. Essentially, if you liked Signs you'll like The Happening, otherwise...well, it's no The Sixth Sense.

"B"

NCIS - Internal Affairs (Season 5)

After Babylon 5, most science fiction television shows realised that the "story arc" was something that could be done, either by - in the case of The X-Files - having the
occasional episode that progressed the arc, or - as in the case of the current Doctor Who - dropping little hints that build up to an episode that reveals the true situation.
NCIS has decided to follow a little bit of both over the last few years; the first two seasons of NCIS essentially having episodes adding to the arc of tracking down and locating the terrorist Ari (losing Kate in the process), while the third dropped the hints during the season of Gibbs having a past that no one knew about. The fourth season was a little bit more circumspect, apparently being all about DiNozzo's romance with Jeanne leading to the revelation that she was the daughter of known gun runner, and Director Shepard's personal Moby Dick, La Grenouille. The fifth season seemed to lose its way just a little, initially seeming to be about someone killing off gun runners (including La Grenouille) but despite that being suggested, nothing further to that arc has been mentioned.

So, it's a little nice to see that, after a considerable amount of time, the FBI have finally found the body of La Grenouille and are convinced that the killer is one of the NCIS team - and, of course, an eyewitness accurately points the finger at Tony. Which does rather leave open the question as to why Fornell (a welcome return from the FBI agent) seems to be trying to lay the blame at the door of Shepard. Perhaps it may be that Fornell doesn't believe it to be Tony, or perhaps the shadowy NCIS Assistant Director Leon Vance was pushing to get Shepard removed. It's never clearly explained why they are keen to get Shepard, but Vance has obviously been set up to return to the series, so perhaps this is all leading to something that will be explained later in the season. Maybe...

The episode itself is indeed one of the better ones this season, not least because of the ending in which we discover that, in spite of Gibbs bringing CIA double agent Trent Korte in to clear La Grenouille's murder, Jenny Shepard did indeed murder La Grenouille. The return of Jeanne Benoit was nice, and to see that it was her that claimed that DiNozzo was the killer was interesting, but the final departure between DiNozzo and Jeanne was a little confusing; I can only assume that Tony told her he didn't love her to spare her from clinging to hope that they might reunite, but seeing as it was fairly obvious that that wasn't going to happen, it's a little cold to destroy any chance that their relationship might have meant something, seeing as it so clearly did to Tony.

Obviously the other highlights were the tense confrontations between Shepard and Vance (OK, it's got to be leading somewhere) and Gibbs leading an investigation from his basement, forcing McGee to struggle to create some form of internet investigation using antiquated equipment.

A good episode, but let's hope that someone remembers where this story arc is going.

"B+"

Doctor Who: Turn Left (Series 4)

Last week it was David Tennant's turn, this week it is Catherine Tate's turn to hold an episode herself, although she does have some help in the return of Billie Piper. This is not such a bad idea as it shows us (and indeed in many ways so does the whole episode) that there is no Doctor Who without the Doctor and when he is missing it needs not one but two companions to keep everything together. Credit where credit is due, however, as Catherine Tate is truly marvellous as Donna in an episode where she
has to play two versions of the character. Why?

Well, Turn Left is essentially a "What if..." episode of Doctor Who; what if Donna never met the Doctor. In Love & Monsters, Russell T Davies other "Doctor-lite" episode, we got to see a number of Doctor Who episodes from the point of view of an outsider, and in this episode pretty much the same thing happens, though the outsider is Donna who never travelled with the Doctor. I have some friends who hate Donna because she is mouthy and acerbic, which is funny because that is a pretty accurate description of my friends. They are being blinkered, however, because yes, in The Runaway Bride, Donna is mouthy and acerbic but she has softened and changed, though her fire hasn't been put out. Turn Left gives us the chance to see Donna as she was in The Runaway Bride - a character who believes she can try to change the world by shouting at it. I'm not quite sure why people dislike Donna because of this attitude; it's certainly not my belief but you have to give credit to people who are prepared to stand up and be counted. In
The Runaway Bride Donna is supposed to be the anti-companion, the reverse of Rose and as such a way of highlighting how great Rose was. But for me that never quite sat true as we saw someone who, although not driven enough to act, was still prepared to make her views known.

It's ironic, therefore, that when Donna has to take an episode solo she is given assistance in the form of the very person she is supposed to be a contradiction of - Rose Tyler. Rose has clearly become a changed character, a sort of...well, vague is the best adjective...vague version of the Doctor. Actually, distracted is better. She appears to have developed some of the Doctor's eccentricities as well as his inner sadness, both of which we can assume have come around because she has been separated from the man she loves (although, despite the fact everyone knows they are in love, when Donna questions Rose about their relationship, she remains tight lipped). I read somewhere that the inclusion of the character River Song two weeks ago diluted the impact of the return of Rose, and there is a certain truth in that, knowing that for the Doctor, his soulmate was the woman we met in the Library. However, we can assume there is more than one soulmate for each of us, and for us, we have seen the relationship between
Rose and the Doctor blossom.

Whereas Catherine Tate effectively showed us the two halves of Donna - the acerbic version slowly becoming the version we have come to know better as the episode progresses - Billie Piper's performance is positively bizarre. Whilst I can accept Rose has developed and changed since we have left her, the Rose we meet in Turn Left is so vastly different that it's hard to reconcile. Piper herself seems to have lost a tremendous amount of weight, looking almost gaunt and sickly as she appears on screen, but it is her speech that is the most off putting. Although Billie's always had a large smile, her teeth seem to be more buck-toothed in this episode than they were, and as a cosequence of this, she sounds as though she's speaking with a pronounced lisp, or with a dental appendage in her mouth. When she first speaks it is so out-of-whack that I was seriously thrown for quite some time. I have loved Rose from the moment we saw her and cried buckets when she was separated from the Doctor, but the character I was watching last night seemed so different to the Doctor's love that I was forcibly taken out of my viewing experience. I have no idea what was going on, but I really hope it is only temporary.

So while Catherine is urinating all over Billie's performance, our other two semi-regulars get the chance this week to also shine a little as Jacqueline King and Bernard Cribbins return as Sylvia Noble and Wilfred Mott. Sylvia's always been a difficult character to love; unlike Jackie Tyler and Francine Jones who are both strong women but clearly have a lot of love for thier daughters (indeed their strength comes from their love of their daughters), Sylvia is domineering but doesn't have a lot of time for Donna. In fact in this episode she goes so far as to admit she considers Donna a disappointment. However, King injects Sylvia with such sadness that it's difficult not to feel sorry for the character. Bearing in mind of course that this whole episode shows us an England devastated by a variety of alien menaces, it's perhaps not so hard to follow why Sylvia has lost all hope.

And of course the decision to exterminate foreigners to keep Britain for the British is the other result of this action and although Bernard Cribbins spends the majority of the episodes stealing the scenes he appears in, it is the announcement of his housemates going to the "labour camps" that gives Cribbins the chance to shine even brighter. If you aren't feeling just a little something when Wilf, teary-eyed, salutes his new friend goodbye you must have a shard of flint for a heart. Cribbins recurring appearance in Doctor Who - though not planned - has turned out to be a diamond. And in a rather nice moment reference is finally made to the fact that Donna's dad did indeed pass away after the Racnoss incident. RIP Howard Attwell.

Turn Left is a very different type of episode, showing us a world without the Doctor as well as recalling the classic series "Planet Of Spiders" with the bug on Donna's back, but the ending clearly is leading us to something much bigger. With references to stars disappearing, the bees disappearing, Torchwood and the Sarah Jane Adventures, and finally bringing back the Bad Wolf, one can't even begin to wonder what is lying around the corner.

Except it's gonna be big.

"A"

Law & Order: Special Victims Unit - Trade (Season 9)

It's back to sensationalism central for SVU tonight, though in spite of that the episode was still entertaining. Detailing the rather bizarre murder of a woman who was pregnant to her father-in-law-to-be, and who was blackmailing both her lovers over their forthcoming coffee investments, the obvious two candidates for the murder seem pretty obvious. To To twist the plot a little bit more you can throw in a rather wet, but obsessive defense lawyer and a juror who accepts a bribe to throw her vote and it seems that the writers are pretty keen to throw a lot into an episode that has very little real plot.

Curiously it seems that Munch and Tutuola have partnered up again, with Lake doing nothing more than popping his head into the frame for a few seconds (poor old Huang doesn't appear at all). It's nice to see the old partnership again, and supporting Stabler and Benson who actually do some detective work other than harrassing people this week. Novak's courtroom skills seem to be just a little more ostentatious this week as well, and rather surprisingly the judge doesn't sustain an objection to Novak essentially testifying for the victim - the objection to this being the only useful thing that the defense lawyer actually does.

It's a fun episode, but doesn't really require all that much thought to it and certainly doesn't raise any moral dilemmas for the viewers watching.

"C+"

Lego Indiana Jones - The Video Game

Someone made the comment about "Star Wars Lego" (both games) that Star Wars was cool; Lego was cool and therefore Star Wars Lego was awesomely cool. Obviously having had such amazing success with the first two Star Wars games, the Indiana Jones Lego idea was a fairly obvious idea (as indeed is the idea of a Batman Lego game which is released later this year). Centering around the first three movies (and including a bonus level that is NOT The Kingdom Of The Crystal Skull), we get to play the movies in true Lego style.

One of the coolest things about Star Wars Lego was that you could watch some scenes of the movies in a Lego style which means entertaining things such as people getting killed and, quite literally, falling apart as a result. This continues into Indiana Jones Lego, but to be fair the scenes don't have quite the same irreverent humour of the Star Wars games, though when that humour shines though it is tremendously funny.
The gameplay is almost exactly the same as the Star Wars movies - movement is identical, though every character has a slightly different special ability: Indy cracks a whip; Marcus can translate things; Sallah has a shovel; etc. One interesting change to the characters is that some have phobias that render the characters unable to move. The best example of this is Indy who, when faced with snakes, cringes and the player is unable to do anything except move backwards. This gives secondary characters a little more power than they might have had against a "super-powered" Indy.

Collectibles remains essentially the same - instead of building spaceships, you build artefacts, but you still collect treasure chests and, unusually this time around, you have to post "extras" such as artefact detectors and disguises; things you could simply buy in the Star Wars games. That said it is a lot easier to become a "true adventurer" this time round, with an absolute abundance of studs.

It took me about twenty hours to get through 75% of the game, though I have a feeling that this was helped by the fact I had played Star Wars Lego - for newcomers it may take a lot longer to play the game.

It's nice, once in a while, to be able to play a game that is clearly designed to be nothing more than a fun game, rather than an interactive gritty horror/fantasty movie, but still have enough substance to make the game challenging and enjoyable.

"A-"

NCIS: Dog Tags (Season S)

Season 5 of NCIS hasn't exactly lived up to the high standards of the previous seasons - characters such as DiNozzo, Ducky and Abby are often being sidelined while the plots are recycling elements of the past. Rumour has it that a shake-up is in the wings and hopefully that will bring back some of the lost glossof the series. Until then, however, we do get a relatively original episode centering around Abby and a dog accused of murder.

Dog Tags sees the team in the middle of an operation that goes somewhat wrong when the suspect turns up dead apparently killed by his own dog. As in traditional fashion we are presented with a range of potential killers, mostly being the team our deceased victim flew with, but also some of the other dog handlers. As as Abby episode, she of course gets to take center stage when she becomes attached to the dog and is unable to hand if back to the Navy for its execution - by another handler who appears to develop a thing for McGee.

It's not particularly hard to work out who the killer is, especially if you've fallowed NCIS at all. What's most important about this episode though is we again get the chance to see Abby leave her lab and actually do some work in re field. As usual, we also get to see more of the somewhat unusual relationship between Gibbs and Abby. This episode, though, it felt more paternal than usual (although Abby's naming of the dog and her reasons behind doing so are more suggestive).

Following on from last weeks episode is the blossoming storyline about to Shepard's test results. Where, exactly, this story will lead remains to be seen; though the more obvious story wc does actually show some originality and is a welcome device.

"B+"

Doctor Who: Midnight (Series 4)

Wow. Doctor Who does a mindfuck episode.

It's a popular passtime among some members of the Doctor Who fan community to slag off Russell T Davies, despite the fact that he has successfully resurrected the television series which we desperately love and has turned it into the the biggest success on television in England today (with the possible exception of Britain's Got Talent). How they cheered when it was announced that Steven Moffat would be replacing him, but Moffat knows deep down (being a Doctor Who fan) that as soon as he takes the job the fans will descend on him like a pack of rabid herbivores.
Davies, of course, is a great writer. He is particularly good at writing the interation between people (be they gay or otherwise) and so if people like horror, they automatically dismiss Davies, regardless of what he writes. And whilst it is true that he is prone to relying on a deus ex machina to end his episodes, the lead up to that point is usually always superb. Midnight, however, shows that Davies can do something quite, quite brilliant that brooks nearly no criticism.

Midnight is pretty much a psychological drama. There is a monster. There is the standard "base under seige" fare that Doctor Who became famous for in the sixties and is, in some ways, still defined by. But more than that, there is people interaction. Davies has decided to write a horror/base-under-seige Doctor Who story that works in the way that he works best, and that is by centering it around the human beings involved. And, of course, having pretty fantastic casting does the programme no evils either.

Before we get into the cast, I'd like to make mention of the superb work done by the Mill, those gentle people who create the CGI for the programme. There have been a lot of complaints about the Doctor not travelling to alien worlds, and so when the idea of a diamond planet comes along most people are ripe for it, but of course you have to remember the "mad fan" aspect which spits on the idea that travelling to alien worlds is a producer's nightmare due to cost, but at the same time shits all over an alien planet when it is realised. The Doctor Who production office are on a path to a hiding no matter what they do. However, the planet Midnight looked absolutely beautiful. Gorgeously designed and wonderfully realised, the views we get of the planet are simply breathtaking and the Mill deserves the highest praise for their work.

Onto the cast. There were a fair few brilliant performances in the episode - son of former Doctor Who Patrick Troughton, David, played the professor and he did it wonderfully, although his physical resemblance and audial resemblance to his father are a little off putting. RTD favourite Lesley Sharpe finally gets to appear in the series playing the terrifying Sky and she really is quite, quite disturbing in her repeating scenes. The rest of the cast hold themselves well, but one other mention I'd like to make is for Colin Morgan who plays the young Jethro Cane. He makes quite a wonderful character, and I was actually hoping (depsite knowing full well it wasn't going to happen) that he might join the Doctor on his travels - the byplay between him and Tennant were very well handled.

It is, however, David Tennant himself who steals the show. This year the production schedule was handled slightly differently so that instead of having an episode which hardly featured the Doctor and his companion, we had an episode that hardly featured the companion, and the subsequent one which hardly features the Doctor. As a result we get to see Tennant shine in a position that, really, only Tom Baker ever got to shine in before. And Tennant grabs that baton and runs with it. He is at his absolute best in this episode, confident, self-assured and arrogant before becoming helpless and determined. Tennant keeps the focus on him through the entire episode and you never ever feel the urge to see the Doctor lose - but you know he is going to win. It is a bravura performance.

With RTD looking towards something new as he moves on from Doctor Who, how wonderful to think it is that one of his final episodes is easily the best episode he has ever written, and to date the best episode of this series of Doctor Who. Encore!

"A+"

The Incredible Hulk

Marvel has clearly decided to embrace its own movie universe. The Incredible Hulk is a great movie, but there is a wealth of material aimed directly at the fans. General Ross' group is a division of SHIELD; their equipment is provided by Stark Industries; they are trying to recreate the super-soldier serum of the forties; they have memoes from Nick Fury...the list is quite long. Of course the cherry on the cake is Robert Downey Jr's cameo appearance at the end as Tony Stark, bringing to General Ross the same message that Nick Fury (Samuel L Jackson) brought him at the end of Iron Man. How exciting can Marvel make it for the fans?

Of course it isn't just the comic fans that are being given treats - a cameo appearance by Lou Ferrigno, who also provides the voice of the Hulk? Paul Soles, voice of the Hulk in the 1960's cartoon, doing a camero apperance? It's a veritable pop culture wet dream.

Now, for those of you who know me even remotely, you will probably be aware that my feelings about the Eric Bana Hulk movie were not particularly positive, due mostly to a misjudged central performance. Bana seemed to believe that repressing your emotions meant acting like a plank of wood. He was, of course, wrong, and so it was not without a sense of some relief when I heard that Dr David Bruce Banner was going to be portrayed by Edward Norton. Norton is a brilliant actor who has been wasted over the past few years; his career seemingly to have come to a bit of a cul-de-sac. Superhero movies don't seem to be doing any harm to any actors, with people like Wesley Snipes and the aforementioned Downey Jr getting acting kudos for their performances (and of course it certainly hasn't turned Hugh Jackman's career into a car wreck). Norton seems to have got the feel for Banner just right. He is a geeky, gawkish, wimpy but with a tremendous anger lurking beneath his submissive exterior.

Initially the movie appears to serve as a relative sequel to the Bana version, but as the film progresses it becomes clear that there is no way that this can be anything but a reboot (apparently at the insistence of Norton who had a great deal of imput into the script). That said, they have to be thankful for the original because it allows for shortcuts in retelling the origin story (and lets face it, the majority of the audience will just see it as a sequel regardless of what Norton wants).

As Iron Man was essentially the story of "Iron Man versus Evil Iron Man", the only real negative side to The Incredible Hulk is that it is also essentially "Hulk versus Evil Hulk". Tim Roth (and what happened to this fine actor?) plays Emil Blonsky who later becomes the Abomination (the evil Hulk) due to his desperate desire to become the ultimate soldier, and his incredible awe of the Hulk - a power that he believes is wasted on Banner. Roth plays his part well, but the true villain of movie, really, is William Hurt's General Thaddeus "Thunderbolt" Ross who cruelly manipulates Blonsky, Banner and even his own daughter in an effort to create fantastic new military hardware. Naturally he comes to recognise his mistake - obviously when the Abomination turns on him - and finally ends up drinking away everything he has lost in some bar. Sucks to be you Thad.

Liv Tyler takes on the role of Betty Ross for this film, and puts in a credible performance (although not one that is particularly scintillating or emotionally grabbing). The only thing that really needs mention for Betty is a scene in which, in a white shirt, she runs to Banner in the pouring rain. One begins to wonder if director Louis Leterrier spent a little too much time on a certain scene in Spider-Man when he was preparing for the movie.

Ultimately the movie is pretty much an action-packed joyride with Edward Norton given the opportunity to provide us with a very sympathetic character in a situation that is well and truly outside of the world in which he is used to. Hopefully Norton will get the chance to play the part again soon - opposite a certain red and gold character - which should be a truly explosive movie.

"A-"

Law & Order:Special Victims Unit - Authority (Season 9)

There are a number of "big" experiments in the world and Law & Order has dealt with most of them, so it's not such a great surprise to see Milgram's experiment get an episode. Milgram is the guy who effectively made the Nazis feel good about themselves. By essentially convincing people to electrocute their friends, he showed that, more often than not, people will happily choose to follow orders rather than think for themselves. In SVU, the effect is slightly different -a fast food manager strips and locks away one of his employees. Dubious? More than possible, sadly.

Enter Robin Williams playing a disgruntled man who wants people to buck the system by showing how they are slaves to it. There are a lot of "lazy" actors in the word. Al Pacino, Robert De Niro and Jack Nicholson are all content, these days, to play themselves. Every so often they will put the effort in, but most of the time they are just phoning in their performance. Williams is another such actor, though to be fair he usually injects some pathos into his performance, although maybe that's still just Williams. But when these actors Williams included) actually act, it's mesmerising. Happily, if playing a villain, Williams usually shows his true (exceptionally talented) colours. As a result in this episode, Williams earns his "Special Guest Star" credit.

Over the past few years, and even more so after the first episode of this season, poor old Munch has been sidelined, leaving other cast members to do the main episode work. The great they about this episode is that it not only gives Munch the chance to do something, it gives him the chance to go back to the paranoid roots of his character, actually sympathising with the William's character. It's always great when the defectives have different points of view, but more So when if comes out of the character.

So, the episode itself. Unfortunately it tends to fizzle just a little. It's one of those episodes when the detectives feel that, despite having a clear cut offender, they need to go after the person who convinced the suspect to do what he did. This, ever so slightly, smacks (to me anyway) of not accepting responsibility for your actions. When it eventually does go to trial Novak, quite naturally, loses. Despite a somewhat tense ending, the Williams character is a little odd. At times he is portrayed as a manipulator, relatively harmless except to those who are easily lead. Then, at the end, he becomes a cunning threat, disappearing to potentially be Stabler's Nicole Wallace. obviously Williams still gets the chance to do his range of silly voices (though how he fools anyone is a little beyond me), but that doesn't necessarily make a great episode.

There's a lot of great elements to this episode - Williams, the regulars, the concept, but for some reason the whole is not as great as the sum of it's parts. A shame really.

"B-"

NCIS: Stakeout (Season 5)

Its taken the writers a little while to remember, This season. that Tony is actually a competent agent and not just a comedy sidekick, unlucky in love. After almost half a season, we finally have g script in which Tons is given somethinguseful to do. And it's about bloody time to!
The story starts off with a stakeout, but the desire to redo scenarios from earlier seasons merely highlights the fact that Ziva really is still not on par with Kate (yes, I'm still not over he death!) . The Stakeout in this episode, though considerably shorter, still sees McGee teamed with DiNozzo, while Riva (looking absolutely amazing I might add-fringe over widow's peak any day!) is with Gibbs. Perhaps the slight difference this time round is Gibbs' tolerance of the practical jokes. Regardless, once this little stakeout is played...er...out a murder takes place and a robbery of top secret naval equipment occurs. Later we find these two events we linked, though it does astonish me somewhat that Gibbs doesn't make the connection earlier. Surely a murder outside a garage storing the equivalent of $50 million can't be sheer coincidence?

Tony's interest in the murder comes from a usual angle. Although the detective working the case is hot (which Tony confesses to Ziva) it's the nature of the (line that interests him more. A "drug deal gone wrong" that just doesn't seem right seems to be the main spork for Tony's interest. the best thing about Diabolo has always beetle fact that, despite apparently being immature, he is actually the most competent member of Gibbs team, and it's not without reason that Director Shepard offered him his own team.

And, speaking of Director Shepard (who is notably absent from the episode), Ducky has a small storyline concerning a series of tests he is doing on the director. Quite where the, is going to lead remains to be seen, but if certainly provides for an interesting cliffhanger.

"A-"

Doctor Who: Forest Of The Dead (Series 4)

One of the old stories trotted out by those who aren't really fans of Doctor Who but used to watch it all the same (they are called normal people) is that they were so frightened of it they used to watch it from behind the sofa. Oh, the Daleks were just so scary...the title music made me shat my dacks...Personally I could never quite see it. Certainly I had a nightmare where I was trapped in the MiniScope and chased by Drashigs, but that aside I was never really scared by Doctor Who.

Until now...

Steve Moffat has a pretty good idea of what makes good Doctor Who, and it seems to center around a few facts that people really aren't going to like Doctor Who being pigeonholed as. Firstly, Doctor Who is horror rather than sci-fi, and second Doctor Who needs to have a romantic subplot. All of Moffat's episodes have those elements: creepy kid in gas mask vs the Doctor's feelings for Rose; freaky robots in French aristocrat outfit vs the Doctor's feelings for Reinette; stone statues that will kill you vs Sally and Nightingale's relationship. This time round, of course, we get shadows, a creepy little girl and skeletons in spacesuits against a woman who has, apparently, a very deep connection to the Doctor.

Moffat's idea to have the monsters as the shadows is, of course, designed purely to scare the absolute crap out of little kids as they go to sleep, but let's face it, how great is that? Kids should be genuinely scared, because fear is a great little motivator, and there is nothing better for anybody than a little bit of fright. Makes you know you're alive.
But I never thought I'd be scared by Doctor Who, and yet when Donna ripped off Ms Evangelista's veil...I almost crapped my pants. The Mill's work in that scene was superb, and the whole idea is just too deeply disturbing to think about. The very thought that in 2010 this crazy Scotsman will have total control over Doctor Who makes me realise that my child will not be watching the series for a little while to come.

And yet that thrills me terribly.

For a while, The Empty Child was my favourite Doctor Who story, but to be frank, Silence In The Library might just pip it because it takes everything in the previous story and amps it up a little. Skeletons in spacesuits saying the same thing over and over again. Those catchphrases are disturbing people - Doctor Who in the seventies embraced them like they were life savers. "Eldrad must live!", "I will kill the Doctor"...repeated endlessly in a dull monotone they get into your brain and freeze your blood. Doctor Who is never better than when it is scaring us stupid.

Aside from brilliant script and special effects, the cast of this story have really rammed it home just how good they actually are. Talulah Riley (how gorgeous is she?) plays her role fantastically, going from the stupid bimbo to the intelligent Picasso-horror, while Colin Salmon is just awesome as the calm Dr Moon (oh how clever is the whole concept?). But it is Tate and Tennant who are still stealing scenes from the guest cast, and forcing tears to my eyes. Of course I cried with Donna when her kids disappeared - how could you not? And as for the Doctor, losing someone who...well, who knows exactly who she is, but if she knows his name then she's important. Yes, Alex Kingston, it's wonderful to know that high-calibre American actors will appear in the English sci-fi programme that lords it over every other programme around.

Doctor Who reached new heights with "Forest of the Dead" and if this is the standard we can expect from Moffat's tenure as executive producer...well...the king is dead! Long live the king!.

"A+"

Prince Caspian

I have to confess wasn't terribly keen on the movie version of "The Lion, The Witch And The Wardrobe" which seemed a lot less C. S. Lewis and a lot more J. K. Rowling. whilst there's nothing wrong with Harry Potter, The Chronicles Of Narnia are a litery legend in their own right. Consequently I approached the next story in the series (by publishing order anyway) with some caution.

That said, I was pleasantly surprised by Prince Caspian. I sat through a story that has no less than five main characters, all of which are given a sufficiently large storyline to stop critics from questioning why they were included in the story at all. The problem of pointless leads is something that plagues a number of stories and movies -storm in "The X -Men" anyone?

That said, however, the movie has essentially no plot at all. The Pevensie kids regret leaving Narnia and want to go back. In Under a minute they get their wish. Meanwhile, young Prince Caspian is about to be usurped by his uncle who will exterminate all Narnians. Cue massive battle for the rest of the movie. But is that a bad thing?
The decision to make the film a whole lot darker is not a bad one, but the far better decision was to restore the Christian undertones. This gives the movie far more of the original book's spirit than the first film had. Meanwhile, in an effort to completely destroy that feel a change is brought in by having Susan snog Caspian. There's nothing more annoying than bringing back spirit and them adding a ridiculously irrelevant element.

There was nothing better for me as a child reading the Chronicles and even better re reading them as an adult and discovering all the things I Missed as a child. With Prince Caspian the producers of the movie have finally gotten that element right.

On the casting side, the four actors playing the Pevensie kids seen far more comfortable with their roles this time round, the girls in particular shining in their roles. What's a surprise casting decision is having all the Telmaire roles played by mostly Mediterranean actors. Some may see this as a racist casting, but really only in the same way all the villains in Star Wars are English. If you see if as racist, you we for too sensitive. Ben Barnes is More than competent as Caspian and Liam Nelson who seemed a little unpowerful in the first film addresses that situation magnificently. However the standout performances in the film ore Eddie Izzard as the voice of the little mouse Reepicheep and, over more notably, Peter Dinklage as the dwarf Trunpkin. Both these characters completely steal every scene They appear in.

A great film, and encourages faith in the series.

"B+"

On Her Majesty's Secret Service

OK, so I said I wasn't going to refer to any future movies in this series of reviews, but I will mention one small thing about this review: it is incredibly difficult to view this movie in the 1969 context because this movie is the first time that a new Bond takes on the role. For us nowadays, that is something that is just so natural we take it as read. Back in 69 that was something that was just so radically unheard of, it must have been a huge jump for people to watch. So bear that in mind as we travel back about forty years to watch "On Her Majesty's Secret Service".

This is a monumental movie for so many reasons. Obviously the biggest thing that occurs in this movie is that George Lazenby takes on the role of James Bond. Sure, in Casino Royale, David Niven (or Peter Sellers or Terrence Cooper or whoever) played James Bond, but that was supposed to be a different character to the Sean Connery Bond; quite specifically in fact. Lazenby is the same man as Connery, even though they look different, walk different and speak different. To be fair there is a passing resemblance between Lazenby and Connery, but their voices are very different (Lazenby's voice initially seems to be too light to be able to play the part, but by the end of the movie you hardly notice this), and Connery has had, of course, five movies to establish the stance that he played Bond with. Lazenby doesn't have that, and so from the very gunbarrel where Lazenby drops to his knee to shoot, you know that something very different is about to come along.

Obviously the idea of introducing a new Bond was something that was preying on the minds of the producers. There are numerous attempts to reassure us that this is the same man that fought Dr No, Rosa Klebb and Emilio Largo. The first three characters we see are the familiar faces of "M", "Q" and Miss Moneypenny, all played by the actors who have held the roles for at least the last four movies. From there we see Bond driving the Aston Martin, lighting his cigarettes in a very familiar manner, before Bond runs into the title sequence which is a compilation of clips from previous movies showing all the former foes and conquests (with the notable exception of Blofeld, but more on that later). Indeed, the references don't stop there: a janitor whistles the Goldfinger theme song; Bond has a drawer with souveniers from previous adventures and Moneypenny even goes so far as to actually say "Same old Bond." Indeed the only time this look back at the past is disrupted is when Lazenby murmers "This never happened to the other fellow" just before the title sequence - but that was obviously just for laughs.

Lazenby had big shoes to fill and he was at a disadvantage from the outset. The producers didn't have the faith in him to put his name before the credits as Connery was getting, and indeed some movie posters didn't even feature Lazenby's face. However, what Lazenby has that his predecessor didn't, is a tenderness towards the girls that he ends up sleeping with. This quality helps him enormously in convincing us that Bond is falling in love with Tracy. However, alongside that tenderness is a brutalness, that Tracy suffers when she gets a slap from Bond (Bond not having slapped a woman since From Russia, With Love). Lazenby's casting came in part from his ability to be convincing in a fight, and the fight sequences are truly brutal. Lazenby shines when he is a fight sequence, and the fights in OHMSS are some of the best fights not only in Bond films but in films in general.

But it's not just that we have a new Bond that makes this movie suddenly seem so different to You Only Live Twice (and really it is so astonishingly different to its predecessor you could be forgiven for not realising they are part of the same series). New director Peter Hunt takes the movie well and truly back to the roots established by Terrence Young. Bond is once again the spy he was in Dr No and From Russia, With Love, sneaking into offices and photocopying documents (as well as stealing Playboy magazines!) and checking for bugs in the rooms provided by Blofeld at Piz Gloria. But Hunt directing the film is an excellent idea; as the man who edited the last five films, he has a specific eye for what is going to end up on screen and so we get a movie that contains no wasted footage at all. Hunt makes a number of changes to the movie; the actual Blofeld storlyine really doesn't take off for quite some time as the beginning of the movie establishes the romance between Bond and Tracy, and it is handled extremely well.

Hunt's team work together to provide us with things that have never been seen in Bond movies before, such as amazing ski chase sequences which not only look fantastic but are completely revolutionary for action films. John Glen takes over editing and the beautiful footage becomes even more amazing in his hands - the cut from the hotel swimming pool during the day, to the nighttime with the "casino" reflected in the water is stunning. Hunt's uses more of a Young style Bond than a Hamilton style and this is coupled with the smaller of the excesses of the previous movies - Bond eating cavier after beating a man - as well as introducing some new ideas - some slow-motion editing when Bond is attacked after vising Bunt. Hunt gets some beautiful performances from the leads, notably a wonderful scene between Bond, "M" and Moneypenny when Bond resigns, and at the end of the movie when Bond tosses his hat to Moneypenny. And on top of all of that some of the best dialogue to appear in any movie ever.
There's so much to say in this review that sometimes it may appeared cluttered as so many points spin off a single action. The romance between Bond and Tracy gives rise to a number of points which I'll try to address as coherently as possible.Firstly, it would be impossible for Connery to have seriously played this movie. After five movies, the last of which showed him having absolutely no interest in the death of a woman he was sleeping with, it would be extremely difficult to believe that Connery's Bond would fall in love, regardless of how sweet the relationship between Domino and Bond was. I know they are the same character, but the suspension of disbelief to see Connery's Bond genuinely fall in love would require just a little more of a leap of faith than most people have. Only a first time Bond could make this movie work well. Of course, the downside to that is, that as this movie is so wildly different from any of its predecessors, any new Bond is not going to be well received based simply on the fact that Bond is a romantic in this movie, rather than a sexual predator as he was in the last movie. The second thing to note about the romance is the use of a beautiful piece of music: "We Have All The Time In The world" sung by Louis Armstrong and, occasionally, just unaccompanied. It is a wonderful song that helps to sell the romance considerably.

Mention of the music neatly allows me to segue into John Barry's contribution to this movie. The first thing to talk about is the title song which has no vocals at all (although they were considered at one point, apparently). It is actually the best Bond theme so far, without equal. The rest of the soundtrack has a very distinctive sound, which unfortunately dates it just a little. It has a very late 60's/early 70's sound, especially in the opening casino scene where Bond and Tracy renezvous for the first time.

We've spoken a lot about Tracy and it's worth talking about her character not only for the fact she becomes Mrs Bond, but also because she is played by the wondrous Diana Rigg. Having already established herself as a brilliant actress in The Avengers as Mrs Emma Peel, and as her Avengers predecessor Honor Blackman had already done a Bond movie, perhaps it was inevitable that Rigg would make it to a Bond movie. She is undeniably gorgeous, and her appearance in the casino, in "that dress", is every bit as memorable as Urusla Andress coming out of the water in "that bikini". She has enormous presence, and at times almost threatens to overshadow Lazenby, although it is worth pointing out that when Lazenby first appears after the credits he seems a little lost, but to his credit he becomes Bond once he is opposite Rigg, almost as though he feels the need to improve his performance opposite brilliance.

Regardless, Rigg becomes almost the definitive Bond girl, and as Tracy marries Bond, it is completely appropriate.
Of course it's not just the two leads who shine in this movie. Gabrielle Ferzetti who plays Tracy's father, Marc-Ange Draco, is superb, playing a character that is vaguely similar to Kerim Bey in From Russia, With Love. Indeed, this story (as the movie is quite a close translation of Fleming's novel) seems to recycle a lot of elements from previous stories, as Blofeld's offsider, Irma Bunt, is quite similar to From Russia, With Love's Rosa Klebb; something which is made even more apparent in the movies as Klebb was working for Blofeld in the movie version.

On the downside, amongst a group of beautiful girls, Angela Scoular who plays Ruby Bartlett seems to have forgotten she's no longer filming Casino Royale and delivers a ridiculously comic performance in this movie.

Also, the casting of Telly Savalas as Blofeld seems to be a bizarre choice - and explains why Blofeld isn't in the title sequence. Lacking none of the menace of Donald Pleasance, Savalas's accent doesn't help the fact he comes across as a poor replacement for Pleasance. Certainly it's obvious that, without Pleasance, it makes sense to cast someone who can fight Bond one-on-one a little better, and also someone who will have a sexual presence that can seduce Tracy (something which Pleasance would never have been able to pull off), but that said as a villain he still falls short.

There is so much to praise in this movie, but there are some parts of the movie that are problematic, and there are certain plot points that make no sense whatsoever.
Why does Bond mimic Hillary Bray when he goes to Piz Gloria? Blofeld never spoke to Bray so he wouldn't notice the difference in Bond's voice.
And for that matter, are we seriously supposed to believe that Bond and Blofeld don't recognise each other - or at the very least Blofeld doesn't recognise Bond? They were face to face in the previous movie.
And what happened to Blofeld's scar? Did he have that fixed when he had his earlobes removed?
lIn You Only Live Twice, Bond's safecracker was matchbox sized...now it needs to be put in a suitcase.
Bond does an awful lot of stuff in his two week break - effectively gets engaged and manages to track down Blofeld as well as learn about heraldry and liase with Sir Hillary Bray.
And why, after the avalanche, does Blofeld believe Bond is dead, but accepts that Tracy survived?

This movie is not only a credit to Peter Hunt, but also to Ian Fleming's original novel, and also to George Lazenby. It's amazing that someone had the courage to stand up and take over a role that had become so associate with another actor, but the fact that he did it so well, indicates that Lazenby is deserving of his place in film history. And the ending is one of the saddest things ever put to film.
"A+"

Favourite movie order:
1. On Her Majesty's Secret Service
2. Dr No
3. Thunderball
4. From Russia, With Love
5. Goldfinger
6. You Only Live Twice
Favourite Bond girl:
1. Claudine Auger/Dominio
2. Diana Rigg/Tracy
3. Mie Hama/Kissy
4. Daniela Bianchi/Tanya
5. Ursula Andress/Honey
6. Honor Blackman/Pussy
Favourite Bond villain:
1. Donald Pleasance/Blofeld
2. Gert Frobe/Goldfinger
3. Adolfo Celi/Largo
4. Joseph Wiseman/Dr No
5. Lotte Lenya/Klebb
6. Telly Savalas/Blofeld

Law & Order:Special Victims Unit - Closet (Season 9)

Homosexuality is a funny old topic. We pretend that we are all comfortable with it, and there's nothing wrong with it really, but deep down so many people still have a problem with it. A friend of mine who has had two close gay friends confessed recently that he hopes his son doesn't grow up to be gay. I find that quite entertaining, but not having a gay son I guess I really don't know how I'd react. I'd hope that I was comfortable with it, but frankly I just don't know.
The Special Victims Unit spends a lot of its time dealing with homosexuals and presenting a comfortable "we don't judge you" attitude, but when Stabler's kid's sports hero turns out to be gay, it's curious that he is quick to defend the image of straight hero to Benson. It's always fun when a L&O detective takes a different line to their partners.

Meanwhile, we get homosexuality in sports heroes, a common enough thing as Lake points out, though Tutuola accurately responds, only after they've finished playing. I remember a time when the only sports star who was openly gay was Martina Navratalova, and there were some problems there. However, as time goes on there are apparently more, but I have to admit that I can't think of a single one - though that may be more to do with the fact that I have no interest in sports rather than any particular failing of society.

Having tickled this issue, the case goes to court where a second theme is introduced and Beverly D'Angelo returns to the series as a defence lawyer to prove that her client was not guilty of the murder crime because of his injuries incurred by football over the years. Much is made of the damage that is done to sports players by the sports that they play and football (along with boxing of course, say hello Rocky!) is one of the ones that comes under heavy fire. The film "Any Given Sunday" used it as a pivot for the plot, and now SVU is taking on the mantle. The question here, though, is similar to the other ones posed by the L&O programmes - when does something cease to be a person's responsibility and become the responsibility of something else. It may very well be true that our suspect was not in control of his action thanks to playing football, but he was the one that chose to play the game in the first place, fully cogniscient of the injuries he might incur. I find it difficult to give sympathy to these situations. It's a bit like someone killing because he was driven to starvation, after having given all his food and money away. You make a decision and you have to deal with the consequences, even if those consequences occur a little further down the line and a little outside the box that you think you are in.

Meanwhile, it was nice to see the entire nine members of the SVU cast appear this week, with Meloni and Hargitay proving that they are the masters of the "sideways stance, angled head" look. Ice-T clearly is keeping the short hair that he gained from last week's episode (weird to see him without that pony tail), but I'm beginning to think that either Munch or Lake should go...two is overkill, and Munch is really doing bollocks all at the moment.

"A"

House MD - House's Head/Wilson's Heart (Season 4)

Anybody who knows me even a little bit will know that I'm a sympathetic cryer. If they are blubbing onscreen, I'll be bawling on the sofa. This week, in the two-pat seasonfinale of "House MD" there was a lot of tears. The episode was a chance to see a lot of the characters in a different-light - House at his most vulnerable and arguably at his most stupid; Wilson at his most desperate and "Thirteen" forced to face a side of medicine that she is, or was, not even remotely comfortable dealing with.

Sadly I can't review this two-parter without giving away a spoiler for what happens at the end of the series, so I may as well spill it now and get it over with: Amber aka Cut-throat bitch dies. Sorry to spoil, but it's difficult to get to the crux of the episode while skipping around that fact.

The first episode kicks off with House, badly wounded, at a strip joint. Having realised he was in a terrible bus crash, he does Remember that someone is going to die due to a symptom he saw - though he doesn't actually remember who. A series of flashbacks, both accidentally occurring and deliberately induced, lead to a bus driver with bubbles in his blood. But the presence of a mysterious woman leads to the discovery there is someone else badly ill - of course it's Amber.

House's desperation to discover this fact leads him to do a variety of stupid things, culminating -in the second episode- of having an electric shock delivered straight to his hypothalamus. It is this that shows us House at his most stupid- almost dying as a result - but also shows us Wilson at his most desperate - he effectively manipulates House into doing it. What's most interesting about this is why House would do this for Amber. After both Amber, and almost House have died, leaving the pair in a heavenly bus, we see House at his most vulnerable when he confesses to Amber he wants to stay because there is no pain. But Amber replies "We don't all get what we want." Her response is highlighted by a curious look, leaving us to wonder precisely what she is alluding to: her not getting a job on House's team. her not getting a personal relationship with House, or perhaps House not getting a personal relationship with her. Certainly House dreams a quite erotic dream about Amber suggesting the latter.

Of course the end of the episode is where I started to blub like a baby as House tears up at the randomness of Amber's death, and Wilson and Amber share their final moments together at Cuddy's insistence. It is Anne Dudek's tour de force in the series and I can't help but be disappointed by her departure.

And wasn't the only one. Both Kutner and Taub share a bond with Amber that Foreman can't understand, but 13 feels it particularly strongly-even to the point of being unable to do her job. It's a nice opportunity for House and 13 to come in to conflict. 13 finally not only faces it, bit also faces her few of not knowing her true medical condition.
In the same vein, it's nice to see how House's two teams don't mix. Foreman meets with Chase and Cameron, still not bonding with the new team. Indeed, it's curious that it is Taub rather than Foreman who broaches the awkward question of the possibility that House slept with Amber - something he, as a philanderer, can understand better than Foreman, or even Kutner or 13 (or is it Hadley? Will we ever learn her name?)

So Season 4 ends, and we have a chance to reflect on the whole season. It's been an interesting journey, getting to know and love the various interns who were up to replace the original team (still remember the old man who thought the same as House) and watching them being whittled down to the final three who I have to say I am tremendously enamoured of. The return of Foreman was well handled, and it's good that they didn't just back down and reinstate the original team, although both Chase and Cameron have become somewhat reduntant to proceedings, and it wouldn't be a huge shame to lose them. It's also been nice, mainly in the season finale, to get the chance to see House in a way that we have never seen him before. It's these changes to the show that have made the new season quite different to the previous three, the last of which was showing signs of staleness. I'm looking forward to season five to see how the changes this season will affect the programme.

"A+"