Tom Petrovski

Every night the true entertainment for me starts at about 10.50 when Sandra Sully stops flirting with Brad McEwan on the late night Ten news and crosses to CommSec for the stock market news - hosted by Tom Petrovski. I love Tom. He just makes the night worthwhile. He comes on and gamely reads the autocue to the best of his abilities (which usually involves him having a stumble over what he is reading). Once this is done, Sandra tends to dismiss him with a casual thanks and then she moves onto telling us about the Australian dollar, blah, blah, blah, but frankly at that point I've completely lost interest.

I have no idea what it is about ole Tom that sucks you into what he has to say. I never really remember what it is anyway. I'm fascinated by the little details about Tom and the set he comes onto once a day to give us thirty seconds of pointless information. For instance, what's with that graph in the background? It's bloody plummeting! That must be the most depressing thing in the world for those involved in the stock market who turn on the television and look with devastation at that graph. Shit, it's dropped AGAIN! Oh, no...just the same graph as last night.

Also, look closely at Tom's hair. To the side, every so often, there is a little tuft of hair popping out. Has Tom got a mullet? Is he forced, every night, to gel that hair flat to his head so that no one knows that deep down he has a Billy Ray Cyrus identity desire? It simply fascinates me.

But I was content to muse over Tom on a day by day basis, fascinated by that little tuft, devastated when some other idiot appeared to spout the same crap. And then, on Rove when it came back, they crossed to Tom at CommSec. And Tom showed he had a new side to him. Yes, he was the perfect straight man to Rove's stupidity. Tonight was an absolute classic.

"Tom, I believe that it was bad news for the stockmarket today," said Rove.

"I wouldn't know, Rove. I was at the beach."

Laughed? I almost wet myself.

"A+"