The Biggest Loser/So You Think You Can Dance Australia

Big night of reality television tonight, so I'll cover the two and a bit shows right now in the same review.

Oh, how much did I cheer when Cosi didn't get back into the Biggest Loser house? And how much more did I cheer when that stupid bitch Nicola was the cause of it all. I really didn't care who got back into the house as long as it wasn't Cosi and Nicola, because I just can't tolerate the pair of them.

It's been a relatively painful week of The Biggest Loser as they desperately try to find ways to make the series more interesting than it was last year. That's actually one of the problems I have with the show; rather than trying to get these guys to lose weight, there are times when they seem to be deliberately sabotaging them. What's with the enforced diet of stupid things? What about temptation? I mean, I know that there is temptation out there, but the big difference between the real world and the Biggest Loser is that if you eat 91 jaffas at the cinema in the real world there is still no chance you're going to win $250,000. What the hell's the point?

So, we were down to four contestents and suddenly the entire lot return (except for that whinging bitch JJ and the stupid pig-headed John) to get some places back. Michael, who I've always respected, made sure his old mate Sean was kicked out and instantly lost that self-same respect. Loyalty or playing the game would suggest he get rid of Cosi, his biggest competitor, but no, he goes for the poor bastard who has done really well in spite of a heelspur. Screw you Michael, I was glad to see you lose as well.

Bryce and Michelle returned to the house, and this makes me very happy, not so much for Michelle, but because Bryce is such a great guy I was glad to see him return to the house. KB takes this badly, whinges for hours on end, and then when Bryce loses a very impressive amount of weight, KB has a go at him about doing it deliberately. Are you out of your mind, you cloth-eared bint??? The guy was on the outside, where he has to live a normal life in addition to losing weight, and you're surprised he lost more when he returned to the house? And, point of order, your weight loss was crap!!! If Bryce hadn't been there...YOU'D STILL BE BELOW THE LINE!!!

Screw her, I hope she goes. Fact is, though, I know it will be Michelle. Bryce will vote out KB (no surprise there), and no matter what shit they spout, Sam and Allison will vote out Michelle because of blue loyalty. Regardless of how Garry votes, this means that Michelle is out. Sad to see her go, but, whatcha gonna do?

Meanwhile, Jason continues his sexual misdirection on So You ThinK You Can Dance by flirting with the dog-ugly Demi and telling her that she has hot legs and bum in "that dress". Really? Still looked like a skank to me, Jase.
Jack and Demi kicked off the night with a cha-cha that was choreographed by Jason Gilkerson and as usual was hard to screw up, although Demi tried, and Jason made it pretty clear from the start that he was not looking at either of them to be one of the winners; particularly Demi no matter what about her arse.

Rhys and Kate were given a Supple hip-hop routine that was really, REALLY challenging, and full of unison. What impressed me was that, in spite of never actually dancing together they still looked like a couple. Sadly the unison was waaay off in the middle, and it showed. Bit of a shame that they were lumbered with that one.

Rhys and Demi then did a contempory number which everyone raved about, and all I could do was sit there thinking how much better it would have been if had been Rhys and Kate. Again there was little connection between the two, and again Demi received the subtle sledging from the judges. Fully deserved, I might add.

Jack and Kate did a little contempory war-inspired routine, and it was amazingly good. Kate (like Rhys) seems to have no problem connecting with her partner, and the dance was so beautiful and Kate was so sexy. The twat in the hat said they were the best couple of the night, which Bonnie agreed with. Big surprise that the twat was so predictable and Bonnie couldn't have an original thought if she tried.

Did I say Kate had no problems connecting with her partner? I mean't male partner. Bring on Demi and it kinda fell apart a little. Kate danced amazingly well, but Demi didn't seem to be able to get it. It was another Supple routine and it just didn't work for me, or for Jason it appears.

Roll on Jack and Rhys in a Chicago number that allowed them to be as gay as they liked, and boy did they love it. Surprisingly Jason went against form and suggested Jack was better than Rhys. COME ON JASON!!! The people won't be able to vote for Rhys if you give crap advice like that! What's wrong with you man?

All four came together for a hip-hop number which bored me rigid, to be frank. I mean, there's only so much hip-hop I can take, and this series has been full of it. It would have been great to see a musical theatre number, maybe, or perhaps a ballroom routine of some description. No, when you get the group together, it's going to be hip-hop. Again. Kate looked hot. That's about the size of it.

The finale of both programs is next week to make way for the new series of Big Brother (and, lo, we got to meet a housemate - some racist, hick grandmother. Yes, clearly they decided that Michelle was the best thing for the series last year, so lets do that again! Can't wait to see some stupid redneck woman being interviewed by that dickhead Kyle...). Who's gonna win Biggest Loser? Hmm...I think it will be Bryce. That should make the Commando happy, if not Shannon and Michelle. Who's gonna win So You Think You Can Dance Australia? My money is...on...ooooo...Rhys. It's a tough call (if not him then Kate), but I'll go Rhys. He's got talent that lad.