Moonraker

A madman plans to wipe out all life on Earth and rebuild the human race somewhere that has barely been explored! But enough about The Spy Who Loved Me...what about Moonraker? I know, I know...same joke, but it still highlights that the essential plot of Moonraker is a retread of TSWLM - though at least in the case of the latter it had the decency to wait ten years before nicking the plot. Actually, wait a minute...this is Moonraker. What happened to For Your Eyes Only? Oh, Star Wars, I hear you say.

The seventies have been an odd decade for the Bond films. Two of them (Live And Let Die, TSWLM) were brilliant, two of them (Diamonds Are Forever, The Man With The Golden Gun) were absolute bollocks. Moonraker is neither of those two and yet both, and is not mediochre. The problem with Moonraker is that it has some great moments which are then returned by some absolutely terrible ideas.

We kick the movie off with a pretitle sequence that shows a shuttle being stolen from a jet (Why would anyone transport a space shuttle fully fuelled? Wouldn't it be so much heavier?) and Bond having an aerial battle with Jaws, apparently seeking revenge for the last movie. All good stuff, until Jaws' parachute fails and he flaps his arms trying to fly and falls into a circus tent bringing it down. Cue titles, which look great, but a title song which sounds pretty ordinary, despite the return of the absoutely fabulous Shirley Bassey. Roger Moore appears to be a standard of the credits now (which indicate we have a new executive producer in the form of Michael G Wilson), and these show that Gilbert is directing again, which means "M" should have another mobile headquarters (he does, deep in the South American jungle) and Barry is composing again (no horrific slide whistle this time, but sadly we get both the themes from The Magnificient Seven and Close Encounters Of The Third Kind in truly ridiculous contexts).

Although we get a mobile headquarters, we also get a standard briefing in "M"'s London office, but my first thought on seeing this was - Lois Maxwell's looking old, isn't she. She and Bernard Lee are the longest serving cast members of the movies, which have now moved through over fifteen years, and it's starting to show on her. Lee, of course, looked old to start with. Moore, is also looking a little more haggard, and his flirting with Moneypenny is a little uncomfortably like watching your dad flirt with his faithful secretary. And dad is pretty apt for Bond to. Moore seems to have told Gilbert that he liked the direction Bond was going in TSWLM, so let's take it a little further into an area that Moore is completely comfortable with. Having played James Bond for three movies, Roger Moore is playing Simon Templar in Moonraker. Gone is any callousness at all, leaving us with a man who quips and sexist-ly moves though his conversations, while refraining from using his gun where possible, in exchange for using increasingly more absurd but convenient gadgets. Bond's sexism is over the top in this movie, as he seems completely unable to comprehend that a woman could even remotely have a PhD, let alone work for NASA or the CIA. He also appears to once again be known by everyone under the sun, Sir Hugo Drax informing him that Bond's reputation has preceded him. Wonderful...must make it easy for Bond to go undercover then.

However, as sexist as Bond is, there is no excuse for the lead female character's name. Dr Holly Goodhead is quite simply the most stupidest name ever created. Fleming was pushing the line with Pussy Galore, but Goodhead? Even Fleming would have thought twice about putting that down on paper. On the plus side, though, Lois Chiles plays the part remarkably well, putting Bond well and truly in his place, and shooting him down every chance she gets...well until the end, of course, when she just can't help herself and has to get in bed with Bond. I suppose, facing death together as they did, it brings them together after a fashion.

Returning to Bernard Lee for a moment, this is probably the only movie in which we see him get out and go on location. He joins the Minister Of Defence (he, along with Gogol make a return, and sadly the MOD's return is not really well done) in going to meet Drax in Venice with Bond. There is a lovely scene where the MOD gets Bond off the case and "M" secretly endorses Bond's continuing invesigation, showing the faith he has in his best agent. I think I prefer the way Terence Young handled the "M"/Bond relationship, but Gilbert clearly has a better idea than Hamilton on which direction it should go.

Back to the movie, and with Moonraker gone, Bond is sent to investigate Sir Hugo Drax. Even though Christopher Wood has dumped the plot of the novel Moonraker completely, he has used some names from the book and Sir Hugo Drax is one of them (there is even a rather sweet through-away line when the Minister Of Defence claims to play bridge with him, something "M" does in the novel). Drax is played by Michael Lonsdale, a French actor (the majority of this movie was filmed in France) who creates a very smooth, unruffled villain who gets all the best lines in the film.
The editing of the movie is an absolute highlight (kudos to John Glen) making the movie very tense and seemingly fast paced, particularly in such scenes as Bond facing death in the gravity simulator. The production design is fairly standard, unfortunately (it's difficult to top the Liparus) and there are some particularly stupid touches, such as Bond's mini camera having 007 on the top of it. What...just in case he gets captured and the villains are too stupid to know who he is?

It's not just the gadgets that lower the tone of the film. There are some scenes that are truly embarrassing. While the pheasant shooting scene is quite fun, there's a world of difference between Bond significantly using the word "spectre" at the gaming table and the villain laughing it off, and Bond clearly shooting one of the villain's henchmen and walking away. Come on, at that point is there any reason at all to keep up the pretense of not knowing what is going on? When Bond arrives at the South American headquarters of Drax, he falls into a lake and fights a giant snake...a giant, clearly rubber, snake.

The depths of this movie really do plummet to as bad as the seventies can deliver. The prize for the "dumbest vehicle ever seen in a Bond flick" is taken away from TMWTGG's plane/car and now goes to Bond's hover-gondola. The gondola chase in Venice starts off really well, and looks like it may rival LALD's boat chase, until Bond turns his gondola into a hovercraft and swiftly moves though the squares of Venice. Now, just in case that scene isn't stupid enough, the man who looked at his wine bottle in TSWLM in shock, returns to do the same thing in this scene! Plus, a crow does a double take. A crow! No matter how great this movie could be, this single scene completely destroys any credibility the movie could possibly have.

And the movie does try to get some credibility. Bond girl Corrine Dufour has one of the most scariest and disturbing deaths ever seen in a Bond film, as she is ripped apart by rottweilers. The fight in the glass museum is also fantastic (though ruined by a racist comment from Bond at the conclusion) as is the fight on the cable cars (again ruined by a comedy moment of Jaws crashing into the building and...actually, no that needs it's own separate entry). Equally, the carnivale is wonderfully filmed, with the appearance of Jaws looking quite scary. The whole thing is actually a little reminiscient of Thunderball.

But Jaws. Jaws, the greatest henchman of all the Bond films. The idea of him being a henchman for hire is actually quite a neat one and is pretty cool. Sadly, Jaws is a joke for the entire film, never really ever treated seriously by the script or director, and that's a huge shame. Bond appears completely mindless as he repeatedly punches Jaws in the metal jaw and winces in pain (does he just not get it?), but as mentioned earlier, too many scenes show Jaws acting stupidly in the face of impending disaster. And then he meets his girlfriend; about two feet shorter than him, with glasses. And at the end...he speaks. Sadly, Jaws goes from being the most effective henchman to being on par with Nick Nack and Wint & Kidd, and that's a tremendous shame.

But that said, the ending on the whole is competely stupid. Bond and Holly are shagging as the cameras are turned on while "M" and the MOD both watch. It's put through to Buckingham Palace and the White House, because obviously you wouldn't bother to check before doing that. And then "Q", after being asked what the hell is Bond doing, replies "I think he's attempting reentry, sir." Wouldn't he actually look at the screen and avoid being that tactless. It's not a great ending for the movie.

However, there are still some good points I've not mentioned, and some interesting trivia. On the plus side, the modelwork and stuntwork in this film is again well and truly above board. The space station is absolutely amazing and the filming of its reveal is breath-taking. Equally, the stuntwork is mind blowing. We see people fighting in freefall, going over waterfalls, jumping from cable car to cable car...it's tremendously good. Also worth mentioning are the locations which are really well chosen and look great.

Trivially, there is a different version of the title theme at the end, following the tradition of the previous two films, and for the first time, there is a complete set of credits in the closing credits. John Barry makes use of his 007 Theme for the first time since DAF. There is a huge amount of promotion in this film, particularly from 7Up. And, finally, we are again told that For Your Eyes Only will be the next film.
Hmmm...I'll believe it when I see it...

Favourite movie order: 1. On Her Majesty's Secret Service; 2. Dr No; 3. Live And Let Die; 4. Thunderball; 5. The Spy Who Loved Me; 6. From Russia, With Love; 7. Goldfinger; 8. You Only Live Twice; 9. Moonraker; 10. The Man With The Golden Gun; 11. Diamonds Are Forever

Favourite Bond girl: 1. Claudine Auger/Dominio; 2. Diana Rigg/Tracy; Barbara Bach/Anya; 4. Mie Hama/Kissy; 5. Daniela Bianchi/Tanya; 6. Ursula Andress/Honey; 7. Jane Seymour/Solitaire; 8. Lois Chiles/Holly; 9. Honor Blackman/Pussy; 10. Britt Ekland/Mary; 11. Jill St John/Tiffany

Favourite Bond villain: 1. Donald Pleasance/Blofeld; 2. Gert Frobe/Goldfinger; 3. Christopher Lee/Scaramanga; 4. Adolfo Celi/Largo; 5. Michael Lonsdale/Drax; 6. Yaphet Kotto/Mr Big-Dr Kananga; 7. Joseph Wiseman/Dr No; 8. Lotte Lenya/Klebb; 9. Telly Savalas/Blofeld; 10. Charles Gray/Blofeld; 11. Curt Jurgens/Stromberg