Torchwood: Something In The Water (novel)

Series One of Torchwood didn't particularly endear the programme to me, for a large variety of reasons, not least of which being that I, quite frankly, hated every single lead character by the end, with the exception of Captain Jack. Oh, don't get wrong, there were some great stories and some great moments, but none of the characters were particularly likable, and even Jack, who had stood out so much in his Doctor Who appearance, was beginning to grate. Series Two, however, fixed all those problems, almost from the outset. I still find myself not terribly fond of Gwen who really is a bitch to anyone who is nice to her, but everyone else redeemed themselves and by the end I was saddened by what happened, and looking forward to series 3.

"Something In The Water" is a series 2 Torchwood, thank goodness, and written by Trevor Baxendale. I loved Baxendale's Doctor Who novels, with the exception of the last which was like wading through treacle when I had to read it. I was, therefore, a little cautious about approaching this novel, but it turns out that "Wishing Well" was a blip on an otherwise untarnished record.

What impresses me about this book is the great usage of the Torchwood team. Owen leads the investigation into the cold and the mysterious Saskia Harden who appears to have no history, but he sidelines all of this when he meets a GP who is suffering from the cold that is clearly so much more deadly that what it initially looks like. Meanwhile Tosh catches whatever it is and has to confine herself to the greenhouse to isolate herself and Ianto becomes the go-between for the group. Surprisingly Jack and Gwen have the least to do, mostly escorting one of the others or listening to what their theories are. That in itself is no bad thing, as the two of them are the center of so many television stories it's nice to focus on the others. That said, the solution to the problem actually comes from Gwen and Jack who are the ones that hunt down the enemy at the end.

Baxendale takes three interesting storylines (the mysterious Saskia Harden, the deadly cold and the mystery of the body in the bog which screeches "Water Hag" despite being dead) and manages to successfully give all three the attention they require, before deftly tying the three together at the end. Baxendale is more of a horror writer, and so it's no surprise that the biggest hook in the book is the dead body that comes back to life. Personally I love horror and so that's perhaps part of the reason why I've always loved Baxendale's writing.

If I could point the finger at any particular part of the book it would be the use of the Rift. I'm glad that the Rift is tied into the story, but the problem is it comes from nowhere. "Sparks" from the rift go everywhere - but what are they all? It's made clear that the spark to the bog is the water hag, but what about the others? Are they supposed to be the babies? And why has it only started to become so recent? And at the end the water hag leaps through the rift into the Hub...errr..how does that work exactly?

That aside, I loved the book and it's a great, scary romp.

"B+"

Doctor Strange

DC Comics has always had an array of "A-List" characters (Batman, Superman, Wonder Woman, etc), whereas Marvel has never really had this. They've got Spider-Man. And that about sums it up. Don't get me wrong, Marvel has "teams". The Fantastic Four, The X-Men, The Avengers - big teams, but more the sum of their parts, with each individual complementing the team, rather than surviving alone. (That said, in the 90s, both Wolverine and the Punisher achieved a degree of notoriety, noted by the comic "What The...?!" where, when sales of comics fell, the appearance of those characters would boost sales. Wolverine has survived, but two dodgy movies have killed off the Punisher's appeal). Of course, Marvel have been intent on disproving this with movies such as Ghost Rider, Blade (whom the majority of people probably wouldn't realise was actually a comic character), The Hulk, and more impressively Iron Man. Now, Marvel are spitting out a series of animated movies, the first of which I've reviewed, but curiously the next features the rather curious choice of character: Doctor Strange.

Dr Strange has never really been able to survive a comic series of his own. He's a character that excites when he appears in comic series, but on his own he tends to be a bit of a bore. Dormammu, his chief villain, looks incredibly stupid, and there's only so much magic that the Marvel Universe can have before one begins to ask, so why doesn't he just go and use his magic to defeat every villain? Due to all of this, the decision to give Dr Strange his own animated movie is curious.
Stephen Strange the arrogant surgeon who has a car accident that damages, is forced to travel to Tibet after losing everything in the hope of finding the cure for his hands. Here he comes across the sorceror supreme and his servants who include Wong and Mordo. So far the story is pretty similar to the original Dr Strange story and as Mordo turns against his master to support Dormammu, the story is complete.

Happily the designers were clearly aware of Dormammu's look in the original comics (indeed it has even been updated in alter comics to get away from what it used to be) and not it looks quite terrifying. The whole idea of trying to break through the cracks in the dimensional barrier by going through the sleeping minds of children who have the ability to peirce the dimensions in their sleep is quite interesting and works well. Aside from both Mordo and Dormammu, a further threat comes from what is initially described as the last of Dormammu's creatures, but turns out to be a swarm of fish-like pirahna-type creatures. It's quite disturbing to see these creatures strip most of the Ancient One's disciples to the flesh.

And yet there is something about this movie that just doesn't quite hit the right spot. I don't really know exactly what it is, because the movie seems to tick all the right boxes - there is the emotional journey, the action at the end, the character development, good voice casting...it all seems to be fine. But maybe that's the problem. Maybe the fact that everything is "fine" rather than "fantastic" is the real problem that this movie possesses.

I wouldn't not recommend this movie, but I don't find myself able to rave about it.

"B-"

Doctor Who: The Doctor's Daughter (Series 4)

There are a vocal group of Doctor Who fans who despise the fact that the Doctor in the new series has become categorically heterosexual. Some wanted him to be above such things and some just hoped he was gay or bi. Be fair guys, it was signposted in 1963: he has a granddaughter and was chasing an Aztec lady. Not really a surprise.
Regardless, there was a lot of caution in the fan community at the discovery that episode six was called The Doctor's Daughter, and all the straight Doctor-hating fans held their breaths hoping desperately that she wasn't really the Doctor's daughter, and as events transpired it turns out that they got their wish as Jenny was created by a generator using the Doctor's DNA. However, stirring the pot, the Doctor later informed us that he has most definitely been a father before and that Jenny reminded him of the pain of losing his kids. Mad gay mad Doctor Who fans began to cry.

Trivia time: Georgia Moffett for the uninitiated, is the daughter of former Doctor Who actor Peter Davison (the chap that reprised the role last year briefly in the Children In Need Special) and what's more, she auditioned for the role of Rose. Obviously she didn't get it, but it's great that she finally got to appear as, appropriately, the Doctor's daughter. Georgia is extremely attractive as well, and I have to admit that I noticed at one point the Doctor was wandering around with a blonde, a brunette and a redhead. Lucky, LUCKY bastard.

The story itself was quite sweet and not too taxing, mainly centered around the hook that we were meeting the Doctor's daughter and he then had to try to teach his soldier-programmed offspring that she didn't have to fight. The episode itself, of course, becomes a chase as the Doctor and his companions (albeit separately) try to get to the "source" before two armies do. The big twist is discovered by Donna, who shows herself to be extremely resourceful as she is determined to understand the numbers that are scattered around the building they are in. Martha's storyline is to get to the source by herself, with one of the opposing army by her side.

I have to say, though, that as much as I was looking forward to this episode, I think it was a mistake to get Stephen Greenhorn to write this episode. When the Hath, Peck, died, no matter how much Martha sobbed I wasn't particularly moved - and I'm a sympathetic crier. Equally, when Jenny sacrificed herself for the Doctor, I wasn't particularly moved. The performances were all great, so my feeling is that it should have gone to one of the more "emotional" writers - Russell T Davies, Paul Cornell or Rob Shearman. This episode should have made me cry. I should have sobbed my heart out at the end and then praised the skies at the coda, but I didn't really feel that. That was disappointing.
I'm assuming that at some point Jenny will make a return (and it will be disappointing if she doesn't because she's a great character) and I'll be looking forward to that, but I feel that this episode missed a trick.

"B+"

bb

bb is just da coolest sho eva it rox

tonite woz just da best coz it woz a ileminashun nite & rebeca & saxon & dave were up. i hate all 3 coz dave iz 2 old & saxon is weird & rebeca ia just a no1 but travis took rebecc out & put rory in wich woz kewl coz i hate him 2. bb woz rude to nobbi & i laffed heaps. i woz jus so happi that corey wasnt up coz i voted heaps 4 him but mum told me that corey culdnt be ilimenateded & id wasted my money. i dont care coz corey is gr8 an he is hot. mum & i watch bb together coz mums bf is at tha pub on sundays. she voted for dave but every1 hates him so good.

they all went 2 vote & then they went 2 the main room & dave & saxon & rory (hu travis put up instead of dat fukkin skank rebeca) went 2 this revolvin room & it woz funni coz bb fukked up & sed dave woz comin bak but it woz rory rofl so i new that saxon got kikked out. saxon & kyle hu is fat sed that they were worse than corey when they were yung. WE as if.

but i still luv bb & its fukkin kewl!!!!

Ry is away - a loser tween has written this...

Playboy: AJ Alexander, Miss May 2008

So there is a bit of a stereotype for the typical Playboy playmate, and that is a girl who is blonde, has big boobs and an IQ invariably less than her boob size. Stereotypes are not always on the money and this month, happily, it's way off for the beautiful Miss May 2008 A J Alexander.

Now, she's from Evansville, Indiana which, quite frankly, means absolutely nothing to me at all. Apparently her real names is Amanda Jane Hermann (who'd have thunk it), and she was nicknamed AJ by her grandparents, who obviously couldn't be arsed to learn her name, or alternatively thought "Amanda, that's three syllables...sod that, let's stick with AJ - that's only two." She has been in the movie American Summer as a deaf DJ, and started training as a dental assistant but gave it up to be a model (isn't Wikipedia great?).

Now, here's something that you probably don't know - the average age of a playmate is 22. (well, it's actually a decimal, but it's about 22). AJ is 27 which makes her considerably older than the average playmate. Not the oldest (that is a lady named Rebecca Ramos who was 35. On the same trivia, the youngest was a girl named Elizabeth Lawson who was 16...oooo), but certainly a standard deviation or two away from the norm.

AJ's stats are 32"/24"/35" while the average is 35"/23.5"/34.5" which means she has smaller boobs than usual (the other stats are quite close). She's an inch taller than the average playmate and only 2 pounds less than the average weight (so about the same there).

However, the point of this is to show that this month's playmate is older than the average, is a brunette rather than a blonde, and has average sized boobs, rather than the big ones we are programmed to expect from Playboy. Stereotypes usually come from somewhere, and there are obviously Playmates that fit those stats, but it's refreshing to see that Playboy will buck the stereotype and give us somebody who is very much against the norm.

Plus she's naked!!! What more do you want???

"B+"

Playboy: Jo Garcia, CGOY

Wikipedia's total entry for Jo Garcia, this years Cybergirl of the Year is "Jo Garcia is an American adult model. She was Playboys Cyber Girl of the Year for 2008." (Isn't Wikipedia crap?)

Now, Cybergirls tend to almost be the inverse of the Playboy Playmates - they are older, they are tend to be brunettes rather than blondes, and their stats tend to be different to the traditional Playboy Playmate.

Jo is 27, an inch taller than the average playmate, about 6 pounds heavier than the usual playmate (which is interesting because cybergirls tend to be lighter), and her stats are 32"/24"/32". A lot of similarities to this month's Playmate, which we've established is not the traditional Playmate. So yes, sadly, Jo Garcia would seem to be a fairly obvious choice for Cybergirl Of The Year, and rather than bucking the cybergirl trend, she is almost the epitome of it.
Kinda sounds harsh, I grant you, but I suppose that the CGOY should be representative of the choices - and the best of them - which means that perhaps Jo is the perfect choice for CGOY.

Let's be honest here, she's very attractive (if you like girls would you seriously say no to her? Seriously...) and she, unlike some cybergirls that have been chosen, she doesn't come across as a skank in her photos. So, thumbs up to Jo, and long may she reign.

"B"

Playboy: Cybergirls - April 2008

To complete the Playboy review trifecta, we look at the Cybergirls for April, and shock, horror, there is a black girl AND an Asian girl in the group. Will wonders never cease. Actually, that's being slightly disingenuous towards Playboy as they were one of the first magazines that dared to have a black model in their pages, and the flack they got for that was astonishing (well, it was the 60s...). That said it's been a fair while since we've had a black cybergirl (July 07) and even longer for an Asian one (Oct 06).

Destiny White got the CGOM for April, and she's a very attractive girl, but clearly the voters had a bit of thing for brunettes as she gets voted in at about the same time Jo Garcia is voted in for CGOY. There seems to be a lack of variety at the moment with the Cybergirls, particularly with the CGOM and so when a brunette comes up, it's not exactly a surprise anymore.

However, obviously Playboy is going some way to addressing the balance with April's cybergirls. Two of the girls - Blair Snell and Sharae Spears, are the traditional blonde-haired, blue-eyed all-American girls, while the other two are both brunettes, and, as stated before, black and asian. Full marks for trying. That said I reckon people will still vote for the norm, and the closest to that in this case is Chelsea Co - she will be CGOM for August, and poor old Chernise Yvette will be brought up again in eight months time when we bemoan the lack of black cybergirls.

Not an awful lot more to say about the girls or their pictures - the pictorials for the Cybergirls having a certain blandness that suggests they are all taken by the same photographer who has lost the inspiration to come up with a variety of poses. It's no surprise then, that the better photographers are saved for the playmates.

Let's see what next month has to bring...oh, we've started off with a blonde-haired, blue-eyed all-American girl...