St Trinian's

Let's kick these reviews off with a movie I've only just seen. Just, peoples, just.

Here's something I've never quite gotten. In truth straight people and gay people have enormous amounts in common. In the case of this movie, I don't see how straight or gay men would have a problem with it. We'll all love it. Why? Well, let's see...

Essentially, this movie is as camp as a row of tents. An all girls school run by a headmistress who is a man in drag. It stars everyone's second favourite gay actor, Rupert Everett (everyone's favourite is John Barrowman...come on, people, you know I'm right). Everett apparently gets it on with Colin Firth at the end of the movie. This is a gay man's wet dream.

And yet...it features a group of women in their late teens/early-to-mid twenties dressed in schoolgirl costumes. Schoolgirl costumes! Talulah Riley appears naked in the film! Three English models appear, with two of them spending a lot of time in their underwear. This is a straight man's wet dream!

So, essentially the question is, how can a movie that features Gemma Arterton in a schoolgirl costume be bad? The answer is...it pretty much can't be. In truth, though, the opening thirty minutes of the movie were a little slow, and it was clearly an English movie. You know how English movies just seem to lack the gloss of American movies? There is no "gloss" in this movie - and that's not necessarily a bad thing; just clearly marks it as "not an American film". The only highlight for me in the first half hour was the aforementioned Ms Riley running naked (not that you see anything, but who cares).

The movie picks up at about the hockey match where the girls from St Trinian's take on their rivals at St Cheltenham's (although the spelling of that is a bit curious...it is spelled in two different ways during the movie). It's about here that Colin Firth and Rupert Everett start to bring their comedy talents to the fore. Consequently, it starts to get exceptionally hilarious.

I'd like to say Everett and Firth steal the movie, but they seriously don't. It's the girls all the way - most of whom are barely lucky to get a credit in the opening credits, let alone the movie poster. You've got the chav, the geek, the posh totty, the emo, the head girl, the nice girl...and they all play their roles perfectly. Particularly impressive are the twin little girls who are quite freaky really.

Actually, if you think about it, most twins are pretty freaky when they appear in movies. Oh yeah, you remember those weird ass chicks from The Shining in the elevator and the blood...

The movie wraps up pretty much how you think it will, which is great because that's what you want the movie to do. Then there is a hilarious duet between Firth and Everett over the top of the credits.

All in all, this movie is great. Check it out, peoples.

"B+"