Doctor Who: The Brain Of Morbius

I have a sneaky fondness for The Brain Of Morbius because it comes from a time when I was a kid and just discovering Doctor Who. I read the novelisation and I saw the TV show and I was scared of the brain-in-the-jar and the horrible patchwork creature, but reassured by the Doctor's effortless control over the situation, and fascinated by the mind battle that showed all those other faces after Tom Baker's. Morbius stems from a time when Doctor Who pillaged stories for their content and spun them into a new story with a Doctor Who twist. Producer Philip Hinchcliffe and script editor Robert Holmes must have been well pleased when they saw this story hit the screens, and kids everywhere had nightmares for weeks. "Scare the little buggers," was Holmes motto, and not for the first time, the Doctor Who team followed his creed.

Of course the story actually came from Terrance Dicks who then went off on holiday whereupon - according to Dicks - Hinchcliffe went off the idea that Dicks came up with - a robot that would assemble a body for his master Morbius without any sense of aesthetic - and got Holmes to rewrite the script as any good script editor, Dicks included, would do. Hinchcliffe posits they got rid of the robot because they couldn't do a good robot on their budget, and he wasn't too far off the mark; although the following season they would come up trumps with their robots.

There is pretty much not a single thing wrong with The Brain Of Morbius - the casting is brilliant, with Baker and Elisabeth Sladen in top form, and Philip Madoc putting in an absolutely superb turn as Solon; without forgetting the wonderfully venemous Michael Spice as Morbius who, despite what is said on the commentary, doesn't sound anything like a Dalek - but if there is one thing you had to point to to single out as genius it is the atmosphere. Everything that happens is done in a doom laden atmosphere that just reeks of horror. The oft-mentioned Gothic horror no less.

On the DVD front, there is a nice little documentary about the programme which gives some interesting insight, although fans will probably be mostly surprised by the inspiration of the design work of the story. The commentary is quite fun, although Sladen is extremely hypocritical as she slags off K-9 & Company in the previous release for being too slow, and yet praises this story for taking its time to tell the story. Baker is a loon, while Madoc, Christopher Barry (director) and Hinchcliffe seem, more often than not, to be Baker's straight men.

I can't recommend this DVD enough. This is truly classic Doctor Who and if you don't have it on your shelves you'll be worse off for it.

"A+"

Live And Let Die

It's funny, but as Roger Moore walked across the gunbarrel in his flared tux, sans hat, and grabbing his arm as he swung to shoot his unseen assassin, I found I had no concern at the thought of a new James Bond. I think that, as this is the third movie in a row with as many Bonds, the idea of more than one actor being Bond is no longer a worry for me. Poor old George Lazenby paved the way for us to accept the idea of someone other than Connery carrying the Walther PPK. Although, that said, it's pretty hard to tell that this is actually a Bond movie at all...

Make no bones about it, On Her Majesty's Secret Service was a Bond movie with George Lazenby thrust into the dinner suit, giving a suitable performance of Sean-Connery-playing-James-Bond-with-a-twist; and with You Only Live Twice (and OHMSS is the aberration here) the movies have been going further and further away from the novels that Ian Fleming created. Live And Let Die dispenses with nearly all the trappings of what made a Connery Bond film. The gunbarrel is new, of course, and is now greeted with a rendition of the Bond theme that is so 70's it's not funny. Diamonds Are Forever thrust Bond into the 70s, but with a Richard Maibaum script, Desmond Llewellyn and John Barry, plus, of course, Connery himself, it still felt like a Bond movie. LALD has a new scriptwriter, no Desmond Lewellyn and George Martin taking over from John Barry with a music score that is more blaxploitation than James Bond. Indeed, with a group of black men running around New York in pimp clothes, LALD often feels more like The Saint meets Shaft vs Count Blackula. The new movie seems to have inspired Maurice Binder who provides us with a title sequence centered around voodoo (and, quite literally, a fibre optic lamp) against a title song that is far removed from the grand approach taken in the past; now it is a hard hitting rock song by Wings. On top of all that, similar to Diamonds Are Forever, the editing of the film is nothing like the 1960s films, as all the fast cuts have been replaced with a fairly standard style, much like the one adopted in DAF.

The funny thing is that this approach seems to work. Whilst in OHMSS you were constantly comparing Lazenby to Connery, it seems ridiculous in LALD to compare Moore to Connery because they are so different.

And make no mistake, Roger Moore is so radically different as Bond it's not funny. From the opening of the movie (again losing the traditional 'briefing in M's office' scene; now relocated to Bond's house - not an apartment anymore, I note) Bond is now a lover of women, having to work to ensure that M doesn't discover he is shagging his Italian liasion from his previous assignment - though Moneypenny does find out! Being a Guy Hamilton film, there is still the extreme tension between Bond and M though. Moore gets almost all the best lines in the film, starting with his very first line where he wittly enquires if his bedroom partner has a husband when the doorbell rangs early. But this Bond is a curious beast. Moore drops one-liners far more often than either of his predecessors, apprently not taking any situation he is in seriously - indeed when he finds out about Agent Baines death he quips "I quite liked Baines. We shared the same bootmaker." This seems to make Moore acting more like Simon Templar than James Bond, but there are some notable differences. Whilst Moore's Bond is extremely smooth and charming, he is also quite cruel and callous. Never once racist, he is extremely sexist, holding little regard for women and seeing them as nothing more than a means to an end. He seems content to have sex with Rosie, despite knowing she is a double agent, and then shoot her afterwards. Equally, he holds Solitaire in no regard, manipulating a situation so she ends up in bed with him. Though she follows him blindly, when Bond informs his associate that Solitaire is "an extremely valuable piece of merchandise" we are left in little doubt as to how Bond sees her. Even Connery wasn't that bad!

Aside from delivering us a brilliant new James Bond, the rest of the cast is actually on extremely top form. There is a high black percentage in the cast, and all the villains are black which could lead to some racism, though as Broccoli pointed out, equality in casting means equality in casting villains as well. Nonetheless the producers balance the scales in three ways - two of them are CIA agents Strutter (Lon Satton) and Quarrel Jnr (Roy Stewart). Satton is brilliant as the cynical, no-nonense Strutter, and having Quarrel Jnr is a curious reference to Dr No which featured and saw killed, Quarrel. Firstly, this is interesting in that the novels were reversed and so both featured Quarrel, LALD being Bond and Quarrel's first meeting. The second is that this is one of the few times LALD actually acknowledges the past Bond movies. In OHMSS there is a veritable plethora of references to the past, but in this movie it is almost like it didn't exist, and Bond doesn't even appear in the pre-title sequence.

The third balance isn't such a wonderful one, mainly because it's such a crap idea. The stupid sherrif of DAF obviously appealed to Hamilton, and so in LALD, not only do we get a stupid sherrif, but also one who is a redneck and proceeds to abuse all the blacks he can find. Clearly the point is to realise how stupid he is and how his racism is equally stupid, but essentially J W Pepper just doesn't work as a character and, although he has a few funny moments, most of the time you just want him to get off screen.

Onto the villains then, and Yaphet Kotto is simply outstanding as the villain - a dual role of Dr Kananga and his New York gangboss counterpart Mr Big. Indeed, Kotto gets all the great lines that Moore doesn't, dishing out a "Names is for tombstones baby" when Bond introduces himself, followed up by "Take the honky out and waste him." All though the movie Kotto shows us the two personalites of the villain, so that when Big reveals who he really is, those who don't know (and haven't read this review :)) will be relatively surprised. When he shows up at the end of the movie, he has become the grand Bond villain of old, offering champagne to his defeated rival and explaining his plans in detail. Nice to see some things don't change.

He is supported by some of the best henchmen we have seen in a while. Given DAF one could be forgiven for thinking that the henchman's foibles would be that they are black, but in fact we get three quite distinct lead henchmen in the form of TeeHee - a man with a hook for an arm who giggles constantly; Whisper - an overweight henchman who whispers; and Baron Samedi - a tall, disturbing man who has an equally disturbing laugh. Given that, at the end of the film Samedi is on the train as it rushes towards camera, his exact nature is rather curious. The three of them are fantastic opponents for Bond, and restore my faith in the decisions made by the production team.

The other member of the cast who should be mentioned is, of course, the beautiful Jane Seymour in her first movie role as the mysterious Solitaire. Never once in a bikini (although she is briefly in a very attractive teddy), Solitaire is a very regal Bond girl, though very innocent and naive at the same time. She's the Bond "girl next door", but when the chips are down she shows some resourcefulness in attempting to escape her former boss. Solitaire is a great Bond girl and works so well with Roger Moore.

Which reminds me that there is ONE other cast member I almost forgot, and that's David Hedison taking on the role of Felix Leiter. After the absymal performance in DAF, Hedison is a breath of fresh air, posessing a chemistry with Moore that at times makes it look as though the two are a comedy double act, cheefully exchanging banter as agents are killed left, right and center. Hedison works perfectly opposite Moore's Bond, in exactly the same way that Rik Van Nutter worked so well opposite Sean Connery. There is a similarity between the two actors which brings the relationship of Bond and Leiter to life.

But it's not just casting where the film excels. After the disappointingly ordinary Las Vegas in DAF, I was worried when Bond's first port of call was New York, but I needn't have been two concerned as Bond is soon travelling to New Orleans and San Monique, both places that bring back the exoticism of the Bond films. Indeed with the Voodoo theme of the movie, San Monique actually has a little more than just the standard exotic feel. Even the decision to show some old style funerals in Louisiana really bring the place to life and show it in a completely different light.
The action sequences in the movie also something special. We get to see chase sequences involving cars, planes, a double decker bus and a most brilliant boat chase sequence, the likes of which hasn't been seen in a Bond movie to date. On top of that there is a scene at a crocodile farm where Bond jumps across four crocodiles to escape - clearly it isn't Roger Moore, but who cares??? Some guy actually jumps on four crocodiles to escape from a pit of crocodiles! That's the kind of action we want in a Bond movie. Interestingly, despite the fact he has a number of gadgets, Bond invariably can't use them in order to escape, and ends up having to rely on his skills to get out of difficult situations.

There are though, some downsides to the movie, and some bizarre plot points and some interesting trivial notes. Quite why M feels the need to go into Bond's bedroom is a little bizaare and when the snake bites Baines it leaves no mark. Bond in a safari suit is a fashion faux pas extraordinary, while this movie features the first use of the word "shit" in a Bond film and one character actually mimes "fuck". This is a little unsettling. The music is generally good, though in most of the chase sequences it is removed. Sometimes, like the boat chase, this is great, but often it seems to slow the chase a little. As a sad James Bond and Doctor Who fan, I noticed two props in this movie that would go on to be used in Season 12 of Doctor Who...dearie me. Finally, Kananga's death is easily the most cringingly bad death ever created for a Bond film. It's the one really woeful moment of the film.

All in all I can't rave enough about Live And Let Die. It gives the series a shot in the arm and shows that, after the terrible Diamonds Are Forever, there is still somewhere for the films to go.

Favourite Bond:

1. Sean Connery

2. Roger Moore

3. George Lazenby

Favourite movie order:
1. On Her Majesty's Secret Service
2. Dr No

3. Live And Let Die
4. Thunderball
5. From Russia, With Love
6. Goldfinger
7. You Only Live Twice
8. Diamonds Are Forever
Favourite Bond girl:
1. Claudine Auger/Dominio
2. Diana Rigg/Tracy
3. Mie Hama/Kissy
4. Daniela Bianchi/Tanya
5. Ursula Andress/Honey

6. Jane Seymour/Solitaire
7. Honor Blackman/Pussy
8. Jill St John/Tiffany
Favourite Bond villain:
1. Donald Pleasance/Blofeld
2. Gert Frobe/Goldfinger
3. Adolfo Celi/Largo

4. Yaphet Kotto/Mr Big-Dr Kananga
5. Joseph Wiseman/Dr No
6. Lotte Lenya/Klebb
7. Telly Savalas/Blofeld
8. Charles Gray/Blofeld

Doctor Who - The Invisible Enemy/K-9 & Company - A Girl's Best Friend

The Invisible Enemy has something of a bad reputation amongst Doctor Who fans, being as though some love it or some hate it with more passion than they can muster, and most of that strong emotion stems from the introduction of a certain robot dog which this boxed set is all about. The funny thing is, most of the documentaries on the disc seem to spend time apologising for the story when in fact, if people hate K9 they wont but this set, so only those that love the story will actually pick it up. Them and the completist fans like me, and who cares about them? Well, clearly those creating the DVDs are that's who the apology seems aimed at. It does of course, completely miss the point (although one documentary touches briefly on this) that the story is not aimed at those 30+, it's aimed at those 8-11. And those guys will love this story, if only for the fact it has a robot dog.

The story revolves around a virus that infects a spaceship crew, who then infect those on the Titan base, even as the Doctor himself is infected and forced to travel to a hostpital where he meets the delightfully bonkers Professor Marius and his crazy dog K9. K9 may have been created by writers Bob Baker & Dave Martin, but like the Daleks, the real heroes of K9 are Tony Harding who designed the creature, and John Leeson who provides the fussy little voice. It's a voice that is easily imitable and the design is easily drawn. How can it now appeal?

In order to fight the infection, the Doctor and Leela are cloned and shrunk and injected into the Doctor's body in what is obviously Doctor Who ripping off Fantastic Voyage. This story is seriously for the kids because it requires enormous suspension of disbelief. But once you do that, and once you immerse yourself into this crazy world of Doctor Who now under the aegis of Graham Williams, you can't help but love it.

K-9 & Company: A Girl's Best Friend is actually the very first spin-off of Doctor Who, and it's quite interesting to see that produce John Nathan-Turner has got his finger on the pulse. Like the newly created Sarah-Jane Adventures, Sarah is assisted by a knowledable young boy, Brendan, and a very brilliant computer, K-9. Unfortunately, the biggest problem with this was JN-T's decision to have the programme's only fantasy element being K-9. And that is a big problem. No matter how hard you might try, Midsomer Murders is not going to work with a robot dog.

The plot itself is a little bizarre as it stems from a mistake made by Sarah's Aunt and turns into uncovering a witches' coven. To be honest, the mind boggles at how the series could have possibly progressed.

The extras are all quite interesting, but the commentaries are positively dire. On The Invisible Enemy, special effects guru Mat Irvine bores everyone to tears as he rabbits on about how he made effects, talking over the top of anyone anytime they seem to say something interesting. Elisabeth Sladen controls the commentary on K-9 & Company, and she spends the entire time moaning about how slow it is. OK, Lis, we get it. You have a new show that is great and everything in the 80s was crap.

I can't help but start to get a little bored with the "All 80s Doctor Who is shit" motif that is running through the DVDs and it would be nice for someone to present, if nothing else, at least a balanced account of what happened in that troubled period.

"C+"

The X-Files: I Want To Believe

A few years back I recalled how much I enjoyed watching the X-Files and so went out and bought the first four seasons on DVD with the intention of sitting down and having some good entertainment. I recall thinking that after the X-Files movie, the whole programme got a bit stupid, and clearly David Duchovny preferred to be anywhere but the set of the X-Files. I was, as it turns out, slightly wrong, as the Duchovny was obviously bored out of his brain as of about half-way though season three, and while I had intended to buy season five, it proved too much like hard work so I gave up and left it at the end of Season Four with Mulder apparently having shot himself in the head.

Kick-ass way to end a series that - having the lead character commit suicide.

That said I had a pang of nostalgia when I started seeing the previews for the new X-Files movie, and so I decided to go and see it, regardless of what other people told me. And, I have to say, it's something of a curious beast.

The last movie was steeped in the mythology of the X-Files which seemed pretty much made up as Chris Carter went along, desperate to try and put every last thing he had invented into the mythology. As a consequence, you had to be a fan, really, to watch the first movie. This time around that's all been tossed aside and instead we are given a stand-alone movie that has nothing really to do with the mythology, except for a passing reference to Mulder's late sister, although thankfully Mulder reassures us that she really is dead (this time, thank God).

An FBI agent has disappeared and a convicted paedophile has information regarding the case, apparently able to experience some sort of psychic vision. The paedophile - a priest - doesn't garner a lot of favour with Scully who is having difficulty with priests as it stands; her boss - another priest - eager to let one of her patients die than allow painful stem cell therapy be undertaken. Meanwhile Mulder, on the other hand, is pretty amiable to the priest's suggestions, especially when he bleeds from his eyes. FBI agent Dakota Whitney is caught in the middle, desperate to believe that the priest's visions will lead them to a break in the case, but at the same time still skeptical.

David Duchovny and Gillian Anderson are pretty much back on form as Mulder and Scully - even Duchovny actually shows some interest this time round - although both are now playing the agents in a completely different context to how they were once seen; neither Mulder nor Scully are FBI agents any longer, and both are in a relationship - Scully at one point confirming that she is in love with Mulder. Their son, William, is cursorily mentioned with the hint that he is no longer with us. There are some nice continuity touches to the television series - Mulder eats sunflower seeds still, and still has his "I Want To Believe" poster, and Scully is still the sceptic, though this time she has every reason to be as sceptical as she is.

Amanda Peet and XZibit play the two new FBI agents, and both deliver acceptable performances without really exciting anything on screen. More exciting for this particular fan was the appearance (completely without fanfare) of Mitch Pileggi reprising his role as AD Walter Skinner. Skinner was such an integral part of The X-Files, and Pileggi was usually the one thing that saved many an episode from falling on its arse, that it would have been a severe disappointment had he not turned up.

However, truth be told, it is Billy Connolly as the paedophilic priest who steals the entire movie, and every scene he turns up in. Playing a paedophile is not particularly easy, and to try to garner sympathy is a hard thing indeed, but like Scully, the audience finds themselves disgusted with the priest's behaviour but as the film progresses it is easy to see how Mulder can forgive a man who is trying so hard to seek redemption.

It's worth making a few more notes about the film: Mark Snow is back composing, and he gives us a score that isn't really memorable but isn't at all intrusive, and his reworked version of the X-Files theme at the end is quite grand. The actual cinematography of the movie is outstanding, and filming in the snow really gives a good mood to the film.

Overall the film is somewhat bizarre, starting at a point vastly different from the television series so the fans are going to be a little unsettled, and not featuring any alien incursions which will unsettle the casual viewer who has that expectation. That said, it's not a bad film, and is worth the watch.

"B"
PS - How awesome, though, is the teaser poster for the movie???

Star Trek III: The Search For Spock

There is an unwritten rule of thumb that says that every odd numbered Star Trek movie is crap, while all the even numbered movies are great. If you were to sit down and compare, say "The Motion Picture" or "The Final Frontier" to "The Undiscovered Country" or "The Wrath Of Kahn" it's pretty easy to see how that rule is bang on the money. Star Trek III, though, is not quite so easy to dismiss.

Taking place pretty much straight after the previous movie, we find Kirk getting something of an ear-bashing from Spock's father, Sarek, about Spock's soul no longer existing, while McCoy seems to be getting more and more Spock-like as time wears on.

Ultimately, and despite the fact that they are expressly forbidden from doing so, Kirk and his faithful crew decide to travel to Genesis where Spock's body is, taking McCoy with them - who is apparently possessing Spock's soul - and then reuniting the two on Vulcan. However, little do they know that on Genesis, something has happened that has recreated Spock...

The Search For Spock, like The Wrath Of Kahn, plays like an episode of the series, but much bigger and grander, and is actually the better off for doing so. Unlike later films in the series, it is the Enterprise crew who are the central characters, with only their Klingon opponent getting any other real screen time. This is a good thing as the script actually allows William Shatner and
DeForest Kelly to shine. Shatner is a complete fruit cake, and I don't have a lot of time for Kirk, but I must admit that there is a sneaky little piece of nostaligic love for the character, and it's great to see him on screen doing what only Kirk can do.

McCoy, on the other hand, was an odd sort of character in the television series; ostensibly one of the three leads, but more often than not as sidelined as the rest of the crew in favour of Kirk and Spock. In this movie where Spock is not actually present, McCoy steps up and takes the lead rather magnificently.

Checkov, Sulu, Scotty and Uhuru all get smaller roles to play that prove essential to the overall plot of the movie, but none of them get quite as large a chunk of the action as Saavik, returning from The Wrath Of Kahn, but now portrayed by Robin Curtis as opposed to Kirstie Allie. No great loss to be brutally honest, but Curtis doesn't really deliver anything astonishingly memorable, despite the fact that, apparently, the fans fell in love with the woman.

No, in spite of all of this it is Christopher Lloyd, strangely cast as the Klingon commander Kruge, who actually makes the movie, straying just the right side of OTT in his vicious performance of a driven Klingon who has a strange love as well, possessing not only a girlfriend who is willing to sacrifice her life for his cause, but also a dog-like creature that Kruge is quite upset about when it gets killed. It seems very strange on paper, and yet it works in that same strange way.

However, regardless of how good the performances are, there is still something lacking in Star Trek III: The Search For Spock, and it is actually the decision to have Leonard Nimoy direct the film. It lacks pace and punch and no matter how much the actors deliver, it doesn't seem to make its way onto the screen. It is beautifully shot with some wonderful costume work and music, and with the aforementioned acting, the only thing that is letting the team down has to be the direction. This is a shame because the movie has more than enough otherwise to really shine.

"B"

Child Of Time

In the early 00's when there was a fair amount of certainty that Doctor Who was never coming back so we should just be jolly grateful for whatever we get, no matter what format it is, a company called Telos secured the rights to create Doctor Who novellas. There were normal novels coming out, but there was a bit of a rule that said the novels should reflect the era of the
Doctor being written for, which meant that only the eighth Doctor could have novels that were a little "radical". Telos felt no such constraints and they produced a number of interesting works, but one of the best was one called "The Cabinet Of Light" in which a Doctor (unknown incarnation) worked with black spiv Honore Lechausseur and the mysterious Emily Blandish against a creature made of bits and its mistress. Short years later Doctor Who was given a new lease of life and Telos lost the rights to make these novels, but Honore and Emily were a bit of a hit and so they were given their own spin-off series.

Til now the Time Hunter novellas have been quite interesting, pursuing different ideas and giving us the opportunity to see time travellers in a slightly different way. We still know nothing about Emily and Honore has become more of an action hero than a pseudo-Doctor. Sadly, all good things come to an end, and thanks to declining sales, the Time Hunter series has been wrapped up with Child Of Time, a book which attempts to tie up all the loose ends, including the video Daemos Rising.

As a consequence of the publishers banging on about the Daemos Rising connection, and given that most readers of the novellas are Doctor Who fans, and as such a novel featuring gargoyles being brought to life...well, it's not too difficult to work out who are the villains in this particular novel. There are some nice connections to the Doctor Who universe of norm (and it's difficult to work out whether this is a parallel universe for Doctor Who, or not) with some great references to The Daemons, and all of this neatly ties the series back into its origins. What's more impressive is the fact that Dr Smith actually makes an appearance. Clearly this is the same Doctor that was in The Cabinet Of Light, and so the fact that Telos had the balls to use the Doctor, albeit pseudonomonously, is actually a fantastic way to come full circle.

However, we've come a fair way with Honore and Emily and it's great to see the two of them really take center stage for the final showdown. The characters have been well developed by various writers over the years, and its a testament to them that there is a twinge of sadness in me at the thought of having lost these two characters.

Child Of Time is a great novel for those who loved the series and particularly for those Doctor Who fans who really enjoyed The Cabinet Of Light - the payoff is worth the wait. If you don't read it though, I wouldn't suggest you pick it up. It will confusing and ultimately annoying.

"A"

Kate Ellis

Australia has a lot of things going for it, but one of our few undiscovered treasures - or at least undiscovered by me anyway - is, rather surprisingly, our minister for sport. Now, politicians are generally old, fuddy-duddies with little or no interest in making people happy - unless that happiness coincides with getting a few votes. In Australia, most of our ministers are the same, except for our minister for sport, Kate Ellis.

Because she is hot.

I'm not just talking in a casual way, I'm talking in a pretty damn fine way. Oh she's no blonde bimbo. No, she's your girl-next-door type, with a smile that just melts you and dimples that only enhance the effect. She's got a bit of a kick-arse figure (although because she's a minister she needs to cover it up more often that not and that is gravely disappointing for virtually everyone), and looks great in jeans.

How do I know this? Because she was on Good News Week this week, wearing jeans and showing off her great figure in them. She was also showing that she has a sense of humour, not least because she went on the programme, but also because she made a rather hilarious joke about how her being a karaoke queen ended at about the same time as the government began it's crackdown on binge drinking - entirely coincidentally. She also made an entertaining comment about a young ten year old bodybuilder, suggesting that her campaign to bring fitness to the youth of today was in the hope that everyone would do it, not just one ten year old doing it for everyone.

Kate Ellis rocks and should be our next prime minister. That is all there is to say on the matter.

"A+"