Truth to tell Doctor Who fans are pretty bloody lucky. We have a specific group of people who work to make our DVD releases so kick-arse they are the best television DVDs out there. We have a company that strives to bring us audio adventures of previous Doctors, so those that don't like the new series can still have a grin on their face. We have an action figure range which is one of the best that is out there, with care given to the figures and a range of classic figures for us old fans.
And yet a few years back, the DVD company, 2Entertain, along with the audio company Big Finish, anally raped us like a $2 hooker. Yup, after releasing all five Davros stories, they then went ahead and released a Davros boxed set which had all five stories, plus all the audio Davros stories. Fine, we all thought. We've been loyal, we bought all those things when they were released, we can probably skip the boxed set. Except a special audio story was released on the boxed set, and Remembrance Of The Daleks was fixed up to include the missing special effect, PLUS had two extra documentaries and the whole box had a new Davros documentary. And the price was in excess of 80 pounds. We called 2Entertain.
Any chance we could get a new release of Remembrance with the new documentaries and the Davros documentary? we asked.
Why don't you go fuck yourself? 2Entertain asked us.
Any chance we could get the new audio story released at some point? we asked Big Finish.
Sure, they replied, when you go fuck yourself.
It was a harsh lesson to learn. Not us, I might point out, but 2Entertain. Sales of the Davros box set were absolutely woeful. They sit on the shelves of every JB Hi-Fi and ABC bookshop across the country. And that's just Australia. Fuck ourselves, the fans said...no...fuck YOU! When 2Entertain released their Sontaran boxed set, they didn't bother to play the same stupid game they had last time. Just the DVDs...no new extras.
Character Options, however, have decided to play the same stupid game. Hopefully you've been here (
The old series wave...hmm...that one had me bothered. OK, so Captain Jack has the Doctor's hand, but I already have TWO Captain Jack figures. Another Astrid Peth figure...not really essential. I finally managed to track down the Master in Yana's clothing a mere month ago...would've been nice to know it was going to be released this year. A repainted Clockwork Man...So, in order to get the Gelth figure, I get three new figures, a repainted figure I already have, and three other figures I already have. I decided that I would have to think about this one a bit longer.
And then I read about the Series 4 wave. 13 figures. 13 figures to get a build-a-figure. I mean, COME ON CHARACTER OPTIONS!!!! THIRTEEN FIGURES???? Oh, but it gets better. Of those thirteen figures, I ALREADY HAVE TWELVE OF THEM!!! Yes, that's right. Twelve of the thirteen releases have already been released! 25 Adipose pack is the only new figure - and if you bought the Doctor with 5 Adipose last year, you already have 5 Adipose!!!! In effect, CO is saying - you want a Vespiform? You pay 84 pounds and like it. All the other deluxe figures are about 19 pound.
We called Character Options.Any chance we can get the Vespiform as a deluxe figure? we asked.
Why don't you go fuck yourselves? Character Options asked us.
So, we will. I may be a Doctor Who fan, but I will draw the line. I drew the line with the Davros Boxed set...it does not sit on my shelves. And surprisingly, I ain't beating myself up over not having those extras. Yup, fuck you 2Entertain.
And fuck you Character Options. I'm not getting your fucking thirteen figures to get a Vespiform. It will not enter my collection. And if it does, it's because someone's got it for me, or because I could get it for a cheap-o price on EBay. But further, screw the Series 1-2-3 wave as well. I can live without a gas Gelth. I can live without a stupid purple Clockwork Man, the Doctor's hand, Jabe, Bannakaffalatta, the old Doctor, and I can sure as hell do without the Ancient Doctor which was a character that sucked in the episode it was featured in, and sucks just as hard in the toy figure.
Doctor Who fans are the reason that the programme still exists. Oh, seriously that is true. We wouldn't let it die in the 90's and some of us eventually had the power to bring it back. But what the fans giveth, the fans can taketh away. 2Entertain learnt their lesson. Now it's time for Character Options to learn theirs. (Oh, and it's not just the fans, I might add. You really think the mothers of those 10 year olds are gonna fork out 85 quid on a stack of toys their son/daughter already has?? Welcome to the real world...)
3 comments:
fuck yeah. Not to mention the Classic Exclusives 1st, 2nd and 3rd Doctors only available in the UK and US.
Anonymous here again - so I wrote to Character Options at their Customer Service address last month and asked them politely what their plans were for releasing their products generally in international countries.
Their response? A big silent "Get Fucked Nerd". So fuck you up your stupid arsehole character options. From now on, whenever I see your products in a shop I will stamp on them and render them un-sellable. Hopefully then the retailers will stop ordering your products and your company will close. Arsewipes.
Anonymous again. Well my stamping on Fucking Fuck Fuck Character options Doctor Who Figures campaign has been great. I have stamped the shit out of so many fucking piss ant character options figures down here in Australia there are basically none left in my CBD or surrounding suburbs for sale. ABC shops, comic specialty shops, you name it, I've fucking well stamped on it. Fuck you up your stupid arsehole two times Character Options, I have had a great fucking stamping old year. Fuck.
Post a Comment